Easterbrook Strikes Again

We’re glad to see that reprimand from the ESPN Ombudsman has really shaken up Gregg Easterbrook.

We’re rapidly reaching the point where we’re just going to totally ignore Easterbrook and his clearly clouded and slanted efforts to stir things up. After all, by writing this, we’re giving him more attention.

But we couldn’t just let this one go unchallenged. There’s no way we could go through the whole piece, if Easterbrook is attempting to ward off being challenged simply by overwhelming potential detractors with words, he may have succeeded, since many of his arguments lack any semblance of reason. This thing reads like a written filibuster.

His premise this week is that the November 4th Colts/Patriots game in Indianapolis is going to be an epic battle of good vs evil.

Argument for the Indianapolis Colts as paladins who carry the banner of that which is beneficent: Sportsmanship, honesty, modesty, devotion to community, embrace of traditional small-town life, belief in higher power, even love of laughter.

Beyond the absolute absurdity of this statement, ask the Steelers (and some other teams) about the Colts and their sportsmanship:

Roethlisberger, Steelers official claim Colts use mikes to enhance their crowd noise

The Colts are the defending champions, so they obviously play well on the field. Yet after winning the Super Bowl, they have remained humble and appealing.

From a Bill Polian chat on Colts.com earlier this month:

Q: Why are there so few Monday Night games in the RCA Dome?

A: NBC told us they don’t like us at home, because we tend to win by rather large scores and that doesn’t make for good TV.

Polian’s words just ooze humility. He’s appealing, too:

In visits to New England, Polian has been demonstrative in the press box, swinging his fists, throwing off his suit coat and pounding the counter in front of him.

Last year, when Patriots backup quarterback Doug Flutie scrambled around during the last play of a 40-21 Colts win at Foxborough, Polian said, “Break his leg.”

And of course, let’s not forget this gem from last year, as reported by FoxSports.com’s Jay Glazer:

According to the sources, Polian was upset that speakers were set up too close to the field. After voicing his displeasure, a Jets operations employee talked to Polian about the issue. It’s unclear what transpired between the two but Polian eventually grabbed the Jet by the lapels of his suit jacket and jacked him up against the wall of the tunnel.

Humble. Appealing.

Through prior years of postseason frustration, they never complained or pointed the finger outside their team.

From a Tom Curran article on NBCSports.com last October:

In the past few years, the Colts have lodged frequent complaints with the league about the Patriots. Last week, the Colts reportedly asked the league to talk to the Pats about the shoddy condition of the turf at Gillette Stadium.

During the 2003 regular season, Indianapolis complained that Patriots linebacker Willie McGinest milked a late-game injury to allow a Patriots substitution. McGinest was later involved in a stirring, game-ending fourth-down stop of Edgerrin James. During the 2003 AFC Championship, Polian went ballistic while watching the Patriots strong-arm Indianapolis receivers. A “rules emphasis” was instituted in 2004 that was dubbed the “Ty Law Rule” after the Patriots corner who picked off Peyton Manning three times that day.

Their players are active in community affairs and don’t carp about being assigned to a nonglamorous Farm Belt city with an antiquated stadium.

Nope, they find other things to do:

These Colts Arrests Are Starting to Pile Up

Their coach, Tony Dungy, smiles in public and answers honestly whatever he is asked: He never yells at players or grimaces at bad plays and, when defeated, doesn’t act as though it’s the end of the world. Although religious, Dungy said on the night he won the Super Bowl that God doesn’t care about football games, which shows perspective.

Manny Ramirez expressed similar sentiments and was ridiculed across the country. Tony Dungy says it, and it’s perspective. Got it.

The team’s star, Peyton Manning, stands for love of family, constantly appearing in public with his brothers, father and mother.

Do commercials really count as public appearances?

Manning is happily married and a major donor to a children’s hospital. Manning spends a lot of time at children’s camps and events, and he constantly makes fun of himself. Ladies and gentlemen, representing Good, the Indianapolis Colts.

I’m convinced. Now, onto the Patriots:

Argument for the New England Patriots as scoundrels in the service of that which is baleful: Dishonesty, cheating, arrogance, hubris, endless complaining even in success.

We’re all familiar with the public version of Spygate. Can you please give just one concrete example of the other items? Just one? Please?

The Patriots have three Super Bowl rings, but that jewelry is tarnished by their cheating scandal.

Only according to you, Gregg. Oh yeah, maybe Peter King too. Great company.

They run up the score to humiliate opponents — more on that below — thus mocking sportsmanship.

The Patriots scored a whopping seven points in the second half on Sunday. Way to run it up. Easterbrook’s arguments later on in the piece about this subject are even more absurd. When the Colts run up the score, they’re “Grinding out the clock” and could score a lot more if they wanted to. When the Patriots do it, they’re God-hating Communists.

Later on, he also observes:

Stat of the Week No. 2: At one point, Tennessee led Houston 32-7 and held a 311-34 advantage in offensive yards, yet the Titans ended up needing a field goal on the final snap to win.

Maybe the Titans should’ve “run up the score” a little more.

Their coach snaps and snarls in public, seeming to feel contempt for the American public that has brought him wealth and celebrity. Victory seems to give Bill Belichick no joy, and defeat throws him into fury.

“Seeming.” Meaning, “I have no clue, and thus will project onto him what I think he feels.” As for no joy from victory, clearly this is untrue. Anyone who saw the photo of Belichick tossing his headset in the air Mary Tyler Moore-style after an OT victory in Miami a few years back knows better.

Fury…how is that demonstrated? Explain please. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the guy worked into a fury.

Belichick and the rest of the top of the Patriots’ organization continue to refuse to answer questions about what was in the cheating tapes — and generally, you refuse to answer questions if you have something to hide.

Or if the questioning is redundant and idiotic.

The team has three Super Bowl triumphs, yet its players regularly whine about not being revered enough.

Examples please? And “Whining about not being revered enough” is far different from the “no respect” thing a few players like to bring up as a motivation tool.

The team’s star, Tom Brady, is a smirking sybarite who dates actresses and supermodels but whose public charity appearances are infrequent.

This from a middle-aged guy who runs pictures of cheerleaders with his column.

As for the public charity appearances…just because the camera isn’t there, doesn’t mean they are infrequent. Somehow, that actually seems more honorable, doesn’t it? Anyone using Tom Brady in any way to support an evil side of anything exposes himself as an absolute fraud.

That constant smirk on Brady’s face reminds one of Dick Cheney; people who smirk are fairly broadcasting the message, “I’m hiding something.”

Another “what the hell does this even mean” moment.

The Patriots seem especially creepy at this point because we still don’t know whether they have told the full truth about the cheating scandal — or even whether they really have stopped cheating. They say they have, but their word is not exactly gold at this juncture. Ladies and gentlemen, representing Evil, the New England Patriots.

In the Good vs. Evil narrative of the Colts and Pats, running up the score is a telling factor: It reveals a team’s sportsmanship or lack of same, and whether a team shows sportsmanship in public might offer insights into its character in private. New England is scoring so many points the Patriots offense looks like cherries and oranges spinning on a slot machine. The Flying Elvii stand plus-159 in net points, by far the best scoring margin in the NFL. This is supposed to be impressive. But I think it’s creepy, and New England’s creepy on-field behavior is only underscoring the seediness of the Beli-Cheat scandal.

Seriously…the creepy thing here in Easterbrook. The way he has behaved from the start with this…he got publicly criticized by his own ombudsman, for crying out loud, in a piece in which she condemned his “twisted logic” and pronounced him guilty of “manufacturing extended false analogies” in his previous Spygate piece.

Kissing Suzy Kolber (established Patriots haters) also go after Easterbrook for this ridiculous column.