Dennis & Callahan in 2018

If they’re still around in 10 years, I’m pretty sure the show will sound something like this…

6:00amJohn Dennis: On the show today we’ll talk with Patriots head coach Josh McDaniels, who is continuing to experiment with the two-quarterback backfield, still trying to fill the void from when Tom Brady retired 4 years ago. We’ll also talk to Brad Faxon from the Smithfield nursing home to get his thoughts on the PGA championship last weekend.

6:20am Dennis: Here’s Meterparel with the sportsflash…Meter, did you ever think you’d still be doing this job when you were 50 years old?

Meter: Of course, I owe Gerry my whole career…besides, the late Larry Lucchino assured me that if I paid my dues here, I’d get the Red Sox play-by-play gig.

6:45am Callahan: Manny Ramirez is a scumbag who quit on his team, and hates kids with cancer…

7:30am Callahan: So little Senator Chelsea Clinton from California thinks that she can follow in her father and mother’s footsteps and be President of the United States? God help us all. She’ll probably try to get the troops out of Iraq, like every Democratic liberal scumbag has tried to do since George W. took the heroic and decisive action of commited the US to 10 more years of occupancy back in 2008.

Dennis: Our best hope is that Senator Schilling from Arizona can keep his 4-day filibuster going for another couple of weeks. If anyone can do it, it’s him. Yesterday he told stories about every one of his former teammates. Did you know that a lot of Red Sox players wanted to punch Kevin Youkilis?

8:00am: Dennis: I know I couldn’t make it through the day without my new Dunkin Donuts tapioca pudding, loaded with an burst of energy to help me make it to 10:00 without nodding off and drooling on the microphone. Dunkin Donuts is the offical sponsor of the Dennis and Callahan morning show.

8:15am: Callahan: Manny Ramirez is a scumbag who quit on his team, and hates kids with cancer…

8:52am: Callahan: Josh, Bill Belichick used to tape opponents signals and then use those tapes in the same game to gain a competitive advantage, he also ran up the score on opponents and set a bad example for kids, being his protege are you going to do the same things?

Meter: Josh, Matt Ryan will be a free agent next season, how could you not be interested in bringing him here to the Patriots? As a BC alum, Matty Heisman would be the perfect fit to your team, even if he has suffered 6 concussions in the last two seasons.

9:20am: Dennis: Brad, two part question from me…since we last spoketh, the PGA champion has been, shall we say, cornated, and it happens to be one Tiger Woods, who continues to play golf at the highest level heretofore unseen in this antiquitious game, that being case, do you believe that he can continue said dominance for the forseeable future, or is this his faretheewell on this grandest stage for this legendary links master, now the secondary part of my query, if you accept that all these things to be true, that Woods now with his 23 Major championships has set a bar to which no mere mortal hacker may attain to, is the game of golf in, shall we say, serious trouble with no one to carry to torch on after the said Tiger Woods?

9:55am: Callahan: Manny Ramirez is a scumbag who quit on his team, and hates kids with cancer…

  • Angry Old Bastard

    ….LMAO….excellent, excellent,…and right on the money….do the “BIG SHOW” next….

    • Edward

      You missed Buzzer Beaters! LOL funny stuff

  • Tiffany

    Not enough political references! :)

  • J.R.

    Simply brilliant. (And spot on.)

  • http://masshysteriasports.blogspot.com/ DaveR

    Sorry, Bruce… but you failed to capture D&C. I know this because:

    (1) I was entertained by the post, and
    (2) I don’t want to hit you in the face with a bat.

  • John

    LMAO! I especially loved Dennis at 9:20 AM. Fits him to a, shall I say, tee. “Since we last spoketh”. LOL

  • Tony

    If Josh McDaniels is the Pats’ head coach in 2018, based on his complete lack of preparedness and inability to make adjustments during the last Super Bowl, then I’d say we Pats’ fans are in for a long 2018 season.

    • Scott

      This is a passable Meterparel, but I do think its kind of oafish to try to bust in on Bruce’s riff like that.

      • Angry Old Bastard

        yeah Tony, it was like, ya know, SATIRE….not a jumping off point to critique Josh McDaniels coaching skills……lol

        • Tony

          I think I should have used emoticons when I made my original post.

          Clearly, the tongue-in-cheek aspect of it didn’t quite come through enough.

  • Jason Coyote

    You had me at “Dunkin Donuts tapioca pudding”.

    Great stuff, Bruce!

  • http://www.jonvssports.blogspot.com Jon

    Classic.

  • http://www.jonvssports.blogspot.com Jon

    Only one problem: Where’s Lenny Clarke?

  • Tiffany

    One more thing – who killed Lucchino?

    • Jason Coyote

      If the rumors are correct LL will join the Dodgers and be considered dead to D&C.

  • Bruce

    Manny, of course.

  • rrsafety

    Great stuff, Bruce and spot on… I’d tell you take it to the politics thread, but you own the joint… lol

  • Angry Old Bastard

    …the onlt thing you missed was some “RumpSwab” “Fanboy” “Cheerleader” and “Patriot Apologist” references and of course the old, “If your over 12 years old and wear a team jersey YOU’RE A LOOOSER!” comment

    • Tony

      I thought that was Tony Mazz’s line??

  • M.O.

    Nailed it! Even the time of comments was right on.

  • Chris

    Dennis at 9:20…MINT! That idiot loves to ask a 29-second question when they ‘only have 30 seconds left.’ What a haughty doughboy.

  • paul

    You didn’t have Dennis say “Phone lines open” after every commercial break. Does he know the phone lines are always open (except when broadcasting national feeds and games) as he is the host of a talk radio program?

  • Danny

    Outstanding – the only thing you missed is Dennis say “And; By the Way” about a 100 times a show.

  • George

    You nailed it Bruce. Aside from the fact that I dislike both of these idiots, I just don’t get it…what is the attraction??? If I’m making a case that the Arbitron ratings are made up, D&C are exhibit A. Thankfully there’s Mike & Mike for sports fans who want to listen to a legit show in the AM.