Twitter Updates for BSMW on 2009-03-31

Worst Boston Sports Column Nominees

Last week, I asked for your help in coming up with some of the worst Boston sports columns of recent memory. 100 comments later, we’ve got quite a pool to choose from.

Here are some of the ones you mentioned:

Dan Shaughnessy from January 10th, 1999 – “As the Jets take off, let’s get on board – Foes have familiar faces” In this column, just two seasons removed from Bill Parcells leaving the Patriots, and a year after Parcells took Curtis Martin from New England with a “poison pill” contract, Shaughnessy tells Patriots fans they should root for the Jets in the playoffs.

Jackie MacMullan from September 26th, 2006 – Body betrays a mental slump – reading Tom Brady’s Body language.

Bob Halloran, date unknown. Unfortunately don’t have a link for this one, This one was actually on ESPN.com and this was in the height of the Brady/Bledsoe debate, and Halloran compared Brady to a sneeze guard at a buffet.

The infamous Ron Borges draft analysis of 2001…you know the one:

“On a day when they could have had impact players David Terrell or Koren Robinson..they took Georgia defensive tackle Richard Seymour, who had 1 sacks last season in the pass-happy SEC and is too tall to play tackle at 6-6 and too slow to play defensive end. This genius move was followed by trading out of a spot where they could have gotten the last decent receiver in Robert Ferguson and settled for tackle Matt Light, who will not help any time soon.”

Sadly, Borges can’t even blame Mike Sando for that one.

Jim Donaldson, May 6, 2005 – Ainge Code may be hard to decipher. Yikes.

Michael Muldoon (Lawrence Eagle-Tribune) Feb 5th, 2008 – Time for classless Belichick to eat some humble pie.

Dan Shaughnessy, June 10th, 2008: Smoke and mirrors – Red takes me through his looking glass

Ron Borges, January 20th, 2002 – Ruling Keeps It From Being A Just Win, Baby. Quotes from Ben Dreith about how bad Walt Coleman’s “tuck rule” call was.

Tony Massarotti –  March 16th, 2009 – The Bostonian’s guide to sports injuries

Bob Halloran – Coach is Not the Saint He was Portrayed to Be – “He took the feel-good story of the autistic high school basketball team manager, who came into the game and kept hitting 3-pointer after 3-pointer, and decided to play contrarian by viciously ripping the coach.”

Kevin Mannix – Boston Herald, 09/05/04 – the “Consumer Fraud” article.

Will McDonough, Feb 16th, 1997 – “An Inside Look At Parcells-kraft Here’s How They Came To The Breaking Point In A Tumultuous Year.” The one that starts with “This is my story and I’m sticking to it because I lived it and know it is right.”

Shaughnessy pretends to be Curt Schilling: Famous guest blogs in – Given ‘invite,’ Schilling issues direct answers  March 25th, 2007.

Shaughnessy’s one-mile per day column, Jan 6th, 2003.

Tony Massarotti, June 2nd, 2006: Hey fake fans: Make like Damon and leave. Contrast that with his column last year about New England being “the official home of yahoos, hero worshipers and gutless suck-ups.”

Shaughnessy, Oct 20, 2004: Now wait just a minute: Series still must be won. “The Curse isn’t over until I say it is, dammit!”

The sad thing, we’re still not even scratching the surface here.

(Yes, there have been plenty of GOOD sports columns too, we’ll discuss those in a future session here.)

So here are 20 nominees for the worst Boston sports column in recent memory:

{democracy:82}

Sox Prep For Opener

With opening day less than a week away, the Red Sox are making their final tuneups and adjustments in preparation.

Sean McAdam has David Ortiz determined to show that he can hit without Manny Ramirez behind him. Alex Speier has a feature on John Smoltz, starting his career over in a new place after 21 years with the Braves. Daniel Barbarisi has the Sox downplaying a rough spring by Jonathan Papelbon. Lenny Megliola says that the Red Sox have plenty of pitching plots to discuss.

John Tomase and Tony Massarotti have Daisuke Matsuzaka impressing with a quick, tidy and economical outing yesterday. Rob Bradford has the Sox happy that Dice-K returned from the WBC in one piece. Barbarisi says that Matsuzaka was a model of efficiency yesterday.

Steve Buckley says that Clay Buchholz is way to valuable to be trading away for help at another position (like catcher). Buckley thinks the Red Sox should remember the case of Bronson Arroyo. Barbarisi has Smoltz feeling strange to be on the other team against the Braves. Maureen Mullen looks at the decision looming on the fifth outfielder position. Joe Haggerty examines some roster battles still raging for the Sox.

Bob Ryan pitches for the ABCD “Field of Dreams.”

Tomase’s notebook has John Smoltz making the trip to Atlanta to see his old teammates and hang out with Tiger Woods. Massarotti’s notebook has Terry Francona planning on batting J.D. Drew fifth in his lineup. Barbarisi’s notebook has Rocco Baldelli getting into a groove.

Celtics

Gerry Callahan echoes Glenn Ordway’s four hour lecture from the Big Show yesterday – without Kevin Garnett the Celtics have no chance. I’m so glad we have these fearless commentators around to tell us the truth about these things. Mark Murphy has Danny Ainge saying that there isn’t reason to worry regarding KG, the team is just being cautious with him.

Jim Fenton looks at the hot shooting of Eddie House and Ray Allen this season. Marc J. Spears has House close to shooting himself into Celtics history. Scott Souza has Stephon Marbury and Mikki Moore finally rounding into form for the Celtics. Mark Murphy also looks at the improvement from Moore in the last game.

Patriots

Ron Hobson has the Patriots kicking off the celebration of their 50th season and that of the AFL as well. As part of that, the team announced All Decade teams for the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s yesterday. Mark Farinella looks at 10 players making multiple All-Decade teams for the Patriots. Jim Donaldson says that picking all time Patriots squads is not easy task. Christopher Price goes the other way – naming the 10 worst first round picks for the Patriots.

Glen Farley says that we shouldn’t fit them for Super Bowl rings just yet, but the Patriots have improved this offseason. Karen Guregian has James Sanders happy to be back with the Patriots, especially after a nice conversation with Bill Belichick, who told him how much he enjoys having him on the team.

Mike Reiss has the Patriots bringing Missouri DE Ziggy Hood in for a look. Shalise Manza Young has a look at Vanderbilt’s D.J. Moore.

Bruins

John Powers has a feature on Milan Lucic, looking at “the rapid ascent of a 20-year-old wunderkind.” Stephen Harris has a slightly shorter look at Lucic. Mike Loftus says that strong play by David Krejci is a great sign for the Bruins.

Check back at noon for nominees for the worst Boston sports column in recent memory.