Mediots! Series: John Dennis As The Last Professional Internet Tough Guy

John Dennis

January has too much promise of the New Year. February is all about love. March, though? March is where we heat up the snark. Once a week, we’ll profile why we strongly dislike members of the local and national sports media, in what I’m calling the Mediots! Series. 

Here’s the biggest indictment of John Dennis: I can’t tell if he’s Jack Nicholson playing Lt. Jessup, an ornery, morally corrupt HO-RAAHHH dude, shown below demanding respect; or if he’s Tom Cruise, who Jessup mocks, calling out his “Harvard mouth.”

Come to think of it, he’s probably both. And that’s why John Dennis is awful.

In terms of a national comparison, John Dennis is Bob Costas. Which, all told, is a massive insult to Bob Costas. In actuality, John Dennis is how a growing number of people perceive Bob Costas, meaning the version of Bob Costas that’s as insufferable and annoying and pompous as the rest of the world views him.

The comparison coalesces when we think about how each personality looks at the Internet. For instance, in 2008, Bob Costas had Will Leitch-Buzz Bissinger-Braylon Edwards(!!) on Costas Now to discuss the new media, and it immediately became clear Costas had a vague understanding of the sports blogosphere, which is to say he had NO CLUE about the blogosphere. (By the way, Bissinger is the real showstopper in the clip, holy shit — his reputation was forever tarnished. Acting like a lunatic will do that to you.)

Re-reading Leitch’s dissertation of the debacle on New York magazine’s website displays the true issue: For all he has accomplished, Bob cares too much about what other people think of him. That’s a recipe for loads of snark; the Internet tends to smell insecurity and, instead of relenting, it ATTACKS. I’m not particularly proud to be a part of this contingent — but, then again, I’d like to think I’m level-headed about the endeavor, and write with a conscious and tone that’s both enjoyable AND truthful. Regardless, for how brilliant and smooth Costas typically comes across, I get an unseemly amount of pleasure knowing that he failed to distinguish between a blog post and the comments section while reading Deadspin.

Anyway, John Dennis is all of that – to his credit, he can be eloquent in his delivery, yet annoyingly loquacious at the same time. More important is that Dennis is insecure, and that insecurity manifests itself on Twitter. Consequently, instead of severely misunderstanding the blogosphere like Costas, Denito acts like a 17-year-old backup nose tackle on a junior varsity high school football team in his social media exploits. (In other words, he’s Andy Gresh, which is almost an insult to Gresh.)

It’s not a good look, but again, insecurity only fuels venom.

In fact, you could argue Dino’s timeline should be a case study for what NOT to do if you’re a polarizing Mediot. Worse, and I’ve written this before, John Dennis TOTALLY thinks if you delete a salty tweet from your timeline no one will notice and it will be like it NEVER HAPPENED. (It’s the Internet, JD – NOBODY FORGETS.)

Anyway, on top of him being a generally terrible person to listeners (I’ve received multiple emails from readers complaining about this), some of my personal favorite John Dennis moments on Twitter include the following:

  • The time he berated Marc Betrand, or at least a Twitter account that he thought was Marc Betrand.  What a moment. So many strange angles here, but I can’t help but think about the poor guy who was on the receiving end of those tweets meant for Bertrand. Must have been a strange email to get from Twitter. “Honey, why is John Dennis verbally accosting you on Twitter?” Great times. I love divas of sports media. Never change, guys.

(The tweets have since been deleted)

(Dino’s tweets supporting Sileo have since been deleted)

(And yes, for those of you keeping score at home — those tweets, too, have since been deleted)

  • Also, as an aside: I can’t find the link, but I remember people being up in arms about the time he [allegedly] told someone to check his W-2 forms and get back to him. Yeah, he’s awful.

That’s all interactive stuff, though. The complaints about the actual show are even more egregious. And no, we’re not talking about the legendary voicemail he left Ryen Russillo or the METCO gorilla comment. That stuff will live on forever, but it’s almost too easy.

With Dennis, it’s the elongated questions. The persistent claim during their tailspin that “Dennis & Callahan” are victims of Chad Finn misrepresenting the ratings. The time he used what was supposed to be a private correspondence with Tom Brady about Brady’s contract negotiations to – I don’t know?? – gain listenership.  Finally, the crusade he went on about how management was silencing him and his cohort, Gerry Callahan, from doing the show the way they wanted to do it, as if the temporary removal of the “Headlines” segment was the reason for the ratings plummet.

(Because, God forbid, sports talk radio keeps the conversation to sports.)

And let’s not forget about his recent, kinda creepy penchant to YACK IT UP about his MACK-DADDY-SMOOTH days with the ladies. One reader put it best when he said, it was called the ’70s, John.

There is a good side to Dino, I’m sure of it. I’ve been listening to the WEEI show more frequently than “Toucher & Rich” of late. He’s shown professional growth by learning to interact with Minihane, as opposed to pretending he doesn’t exist, and the show is better for it. Truthfully, the start to this new series could have featured a number of media personalities, but given the recent resurgence of the “Dennis & Callahan” morning show, which has been praised in this space of late, it was just time to remember that John Dennis is still an abhorrent individual.

To contribute or nominate a Mediot, shoot an email to [email protected] or, if you fancy yourself the progressive type, yell at me on Twitter, @Hadfield__.

***

10 quick musings (NOT INCLUDED: I don’t know what to think about the Big O’s new Internet venture, so I didn’t write about it. Maybe next week. If you care about such matters here are details):

1.) Ron Jaworski thinks that unless Johnny Manziel changes his playing style, he won’t last three games in THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Johnny Football, who recently changed his moniker to Mr. Football, is one of things I most look forward to in September. I love that he’s so polarizing that people like Barry Switzer (!!) come out of the woodwork to call him an “arrogant little prick.” And I love that there’s no in between with Mr. Football, he’ll either be great or awful — any intermediary take is unreasonable. Just the best.

2.) AJ McCarron’s lady friend, Katherine Webb, has been part of Internet folklore since Brett Musburger got all hot and bothered by her in the middle of the BCS Championship game two years ago. RELATED (BUT NOT REALLY; ACTUALLY, YEAH, THIS IS DEFINITELY RELATED): NFL quarterback prospect, Blake Bortles’, girlfriend is not ugly. There has to be a correlation between McCarron’s stock dropping and Bortles’ coming on strong.

3.) Speaking of correlations, the MIT Sports Analytics Conference is this weekend at the Hynes Convention Center. The attendee list gets more and more impressive every year, and 2014 is no different. Writers, thought leaders, and important sports figures – both national, and here in Boston – will be there. Here are a few names that stick out: new NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, Andrew Luck, Brad Stevens, John Henry, Jonathan Kraft, Julian Edelman, Malcolm Gladwell, Mike Reiss, Mike Zarreen, Phil Jackson, Richard Deitsch, Thomas Dimitroff, Zach Lowe, and Wyc Grousbeck.

4.) A laundry list, indeed. Still, there are people – even select decision makers – in the sports world who have little to no interest in advanced analytics. In a piece that’s well worth your time, Bill Barnwell, formerly of Football Outsiders and now the lead football writer at Grantland, does his best to offer insight into why this gap still exists.

5.) Rajon Rondo took a day off to celebrate his birthday without permission from the Celtics. It is a story that requires reaction. Most people agree it was the wrong move, especially for the team’s captain. And I think that’s reasonable.

I don’t know Rondo. I don’t know what’s said behind closed doors, or what his teammates think of his personality. I will say that when I covered the team in 2012-13, the year Rondo truly became Boston’s best player, he always appeared like an aloof individual. (Read: has ZERO use for the media)

But because of that, his “it’s none of your business” comments about the story make perfect sense. Look, he doesn’t seek the attention when things are great, thus he doesn’t feel he owes an explanation when times are tough. I’m OK with that rationale, I suppose. But still, it’s not a good look.

6.) I think Andrew Sharp, who I highly recommend reading over at Grantland, especially his Onion-esq weekly column #HOTSPORTSTAKES, went the wrong way with the Rondo thing, claiming that because his name always pops up in trade rumors and he finds himself stuck playing on a crappy, tankaliscious team, Rondo should be free from scrutiny.

I’m not sure if Rondo needs to be lambasted here, but that rationale is faulty at best. Players are on the trade market all the time. Rondo deserves criticism.

7.) Criticism, mind you, which the local media is happy to give, of course. Although, on WEEI.com, Ben Rohrbach is mostly pro-Rondo, citing the Captaincy thing as a misplaced narrative considering the title has been “reserved for such luminaries as Dee Brown, Rick Fox, Pervis Ellison and Antoine Walker.”  Chris Gasper, as is his MO, delivers a harsh, but fair viewpoint about Rondo’s frustrating personality on and off the court. Meanwhile, Chris Forsberg does well to describe how this is just another chapter, in a series of chapters, of the Rajon Rondo Experience.

8.) For those who emailed me this week, I’m in on True Detective, but out on Mixology. Yes, I watched the pilot because I live with girls and am exposed to such things. In short, Mixology portrays guys like they’re a bumbling mess or borderline creeps. It’s the equivalent of how people react to Johnny Football — meaning there’s no in between. Somehow, this makes Girls look like a reasonable show. (Hey, at least Girls tries.)

9.) Drunken college kids. Competitive “student-athletes” (whatever that term means). Lack of security. Surprised incidents like this don’t happen more often.

10.) SELF-PROMOTION: I wrote about Aaron Hernandez and guilt in fandom for the Metro this week. Check it out.

***

Sorry for getting this up so late. Go big or go home, ya know? Anyway, I’ll hold off publishing the first part of Monday morning, so it doesn’t get buried. Hope everyone has a great weekend and, as always, thanks for reading. Say hello on the Twittersphere. @Hadfield__.

Your Patriots Mock Draft (Post-Combine Edition)

Predicting what the Patriots will do in each draft feels like trying to plot out snowflakes in a blizzard: you keep track of every storm and graph each flake falling, but at some point you realize you’re just a nitwit out in the cold. I mean, imagine if local weathermen had the same record of forecasting that draft gurus do.

In our previous, Way-Wicked-Early Edition, we plotted out roster concerns and where we figured Bill Belichick & Co. would address them. Now, we review our initial picks and amend them where necessary.

We’ve given NFL.com criticism in the past for its pop-ups and occasional navigational quagmires, but they deserve credit for their combine coverage. For a list and a description of events, you can read (and listen to) this link.

Now come on along to check out our updated picks. And get ready for the big storm starting May 8.

Round One: The Versatile Defensive Lineman

Stephon Tuitt, Notre Dame (6-6, 312). (Actually 6-5, 304.) Tuitt suffered a foot injury and couldn’t work out at the combine beyond an impressive 31 reps in the 225-pound bench press. Coach Belichick’s rapport with Irish coach Brian Kelly could come in handy here, potentially giving New England’s personnel people access to some background that other NFL coaches may not have.

Fielding Tuitt on one end of the line and Chandler Jones on the other may prove too much for the Foxboro front office to forego. The junior played both defensive end and tackle, tallying 49 stops with 7.5 sacks for the Irish in 2013.

Round Two: The Long-limbed Cornerback

Stanley Jean-Baptiste, Nebraska, (6-3, 215). (Weighed in at 218 pounds.) New England has a history of drafting defensive backs in the second round, and – after Eugene Wilson in 2003 – it becomes a history they’d rather forget (Terence Wheatley, Patrick Chung, Darius Butler, Ras-I Dowling, Tavon Wilson). Will the Pats grow enamored of this player’s height and long arms? He’s so raw that his name comes with an asterisk and a warning at the bottom of the menu, but Jean-Baptiste’s size and power could see him go in the second round.

At the combine, Jean-Baptiste ran a 4.61 40, not fast but not slow enough to scare off the Pats, who tend to look for other traits beyond straight-line speed (Logan Ryan ran a decent 4.53; Asante Samuel a less-than-blistering 4.49). Jean-Baptiste had a so-so short shuttle at 4.33 seconds and showed fair strength with 13 bench reps, but he came alive in the jumping categories, leaping 41.5 inches vertically (best among DBs) and 10 feet, 8 inches broadly (tied for third best among DBs). The Cornhusker had 41 tackles, a sack, four interceptions and 12 pass break-ups last season.

Round Three: The (Other) Big Tight End

C. J. Fiedorowicz, Iowa (6-6, 262) (Actually 6-5, 265). While a rush on tight ends could come to fruition, a surplus of receivers will probably get picked over first. Other tight ends had surprising times in their 40s, bolstering the market for smaller, “move” types. In other words, Fiedorowicz has a solid chance to remain available in the third.

The Iowa product ran a 4.76 40 and benched 225 pounds 25 times, numbers that seem like a drag queen at the Provincetown Carnival: noticeable on their own, but probably not standing out on that particular day. He should be commended, however, for his 7.10-second 3-cone drill (someone notify WEEI.com’s Chris Price, who has kept track of the link between Pats drafts and 3-cone times).

The big ol’ Hawkeye managed 23 catches and five touchdowns in 2013 but could flourish in the right (read: Brady-led) offense. Coach Belichick’s relationship with Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz won’t hurt in terms of getting a full picture.

Round Four: The Solid Interior Lineman

Tyler Larsen, Utah State (6-4, 317). (Weighed in at 313 pounds.) This guy had more starts than an over-caffeinated teen at a horror movie marathon, leading off 51 consecutive games at Utah State. Larsen made the All-Mountain West Conference team three times. Though weighing in at 313, his 6-4 is legit. Also legit? His upper body strength, as he had 36 bench reps in Indianapolis.

To be kind, he lacks foot speed, with a glacial 8.22-second 3-cone drill and a 23.5-inch vertical jump that won’t get him on the Celtics (although this year, maybe). Still, after watching Pats center Ryan Wendell get pushed around in the playoffs, a big, strong pivot could bring some punch to the offense.

Round Six: Doubling Down On Round Four

Marcus Martin, USC (6-3, 310). Would be nice, but …

John Urschel, Penn State (6-3, 313). We let Martin go here because the junior has risen up draft boards. Urschel caught our focus for several reasons, including his time at Penn State under former Patriots offensive coordinator Bill O’Brien. Urschel has been lauded for his smarts at PSU, earning a 4.0 average both as an undergrad and grad student in math.

The former Nittany Lion could fall to the Pats due to a lumbering 40 time (5.31 seconds); however, his size, strength (30 reps in the bench press), and 3-cone drill (7.55 seconds, top 10 for all O-linemen) make him intriguing. Add to that the fact he features more brains than a zombie movie (possibly from that horror marathon mentioned above) and that he has experience in a New-England-style offense, and he looks more and more like a Foxboro candidate.

Round Six: The Complementary Receiver

Kevin Norwood, Alabama (6-2, 198). Cody Hoffman, BYU (6-4, 223). We would love to see Norwood picked here, but his combination of production in the SEC, better-than-expected speed (4.48-second 40) and quickness (6.68 3-cone drill) should make him attractive to an NFL team before the sixth round. Hoffman could stay on the board due to his 4.65-second 40 time (that’s not just pedestrian, that’s icy-sidewalk-during-rush-hour-pedestrian) and his injury-plagued senior year. Tallying 57 catches for 894 yards and five touchdowns proved disappointing considering that, as a junior, Hoffman caught 100 passes for 1,248 yards and 11 TDs.

Hoffman would add size to the New England receiving corps, a group that – when missing the 6-3 Aaron Dobson – literally comes up short in competition. He lacks velocity, but his 6.89-second 3-cone drill shows the ability to break open in tight spaces. Could provide another bigger target outside the hash marks.

Round Six (Compensatory Pick?): The Special-Teamer/Quality Backup

Tyler Starr, South Dakota (6-4, 250). Not exactly sure how New England’s compensatory picks will work out, but we wanted to add Starr to the mix here. The Pats have looked to these later rounds for special teams depth since taking Matthew Slater in the fifth round in 2009 (Nate Ebner in the sixth in 2012 provides another example). At outside linebacker, Starr was the Missouri Valley Defensive Player of the Year for South Dakota with 71 tackles (15 for loss), nine sacks, one interception and four forced fumbles.

Starr ran a plodding 4.95-second 40 while putting up 24 reps on the bench press (10th among linebackers). He sticks out for his quickness, including his 6.64-second 3-cone drill (first among linebackers – Hey, Price! Three-cone alert!) and 4.15-second 20-yard shuttle (fourth). For perspective, his 6.64 3-cone proved better than any running back at the combine and would have tied for third best among all receivers.

Round Seven: The Big Defensive Lineman With Potential

Zack Kerr, Delaware (6-2, 334). (Actually 6-1, 326.) The Patriots have had some success with late-round additions to the D-line, including Myron Pryor (sixth, 2009) and Brandon Deaderick (seventh, 2010). At 326 pounds, Kerr has the bulk to man the middle of New England’s defense. He was named to the All-Colonial Athletic Association First Team, after 57 tackles, 3.5 sacks and two forced fumbles his senior year.

Kerr seemed to help himself at Indianapolis, benching 225 pounds 28 times and running a 5.08 40. At first we thought his speedy performance would put him into an earlier round, before we realized that for whatever reason everyone seemed to zip along at the combine. (Seriously, the ball boy could have run a 4.6.)

The big Blue Hen also leapt 28.5 inches in the vertical – pretty impressive if you consider that a 167-pound man would have to leap that height with himself on his back to demonstrate the same power.

ROOKIE FREE AGENTS

The Patriots have a consistent record of success when it comes to finding productive undrafted free agents. Below, we feature several athletes who may get bypassed during the draft but could easily find their way to Foxboro the following week.

Only one of these players got invited to the NFL combine (receiver Corey Brown out of Ohio State). We’ve kept our original stats-based comments about each and added combine results or pro day dates.

The Productive Small-School Running Back

Branden Oliver, Buffalo (5-7, 208). Who doesn’t like to root for the little guy (besides Shaquille O’Neal fans, maybe)? Oliver had 310 carries for 1535 yards (5.0 avg) and 15 TDs. Also tallied 25 catches for 173 yards and 1 TD. Buffalo’s pro day is March 4.

The Underrated Middle Linebacker

Greg Blair, Cincinnati (6-1, 252). New England could use more size and depth backing up the line, especially with the possibility that Brandon Spikes will play elsewhere. Blair led the Bearcats with 106 tackles, including seven for loss (one sack). He also had three passes broken up and one forced fumble. Cincinnati’s pro day is scheduled for March 6.

The Pass-catching Fullback/Tight End Hybrid

Gator Hoskins, Marshall (6-1, 244). We mentioned Hoskins in our Senior Bowl review, but his one reception in that game failed to demonstrate his potential. Hoskins, who snared 13 TDs to lead all tight ends nationwide, would fill the Foxboro gap of a smaller, pass-catching tight end/fullback hybrid who can split out wide. In 2013, he had 44 catches and averaged almost 17 yards per grab.

Marshall has scheduled its pro day for March 12.

The Small-School ‘Tweener Defender

Jerry “BooBoo” Gates, Bowling Green (5-10, 227). From Tavon Wilson to Adrian Wilson, New England has tried to bring in a run-stopping safety/linebacker hybrid with enough speed to cover a tight end and. Besides, who doesn’t love a good Yogi the Bear quote?

In 2013, Gates had 71 tackles, including 4.5 for loss, plus two interceptions and two forced fumbles. He also averaged 31 yards per kickoff return. Bowling Green has yet to list a pro day on their website. Come on, Freddie and Frieda Falcon!

The Raw Receiver

Corey “Philly” Brown, Ohio State (5-11, 190). (Actually 178 pounds.) Last season, Brown led all Buckeyes with 63 catches, gaining 771 yards and scoring 10 TDs. Old Belichick friend Urban Meyer (though, considering some recent Florida alums that became Pats, maybe not Bill’s bestie at the moment) called on Brown as a rusher (four for 42 yards) and punt returner.

At the combine, Brown was timed with a 4.51-second 40, a 4.22-second 3-cone drill and a 7.16-second 3-cone drill. None will make NFL personnel directors get out of their chairs, but his experience, production and tutelage under Meyer could get him to New England.

The Backup QB For Grooming

Tommy Rees, Notre Dame (6-2, 214). Seemed like a good idea at the time. However …

Garrett Gilbert, SMU (6-3, 225). Despite Coach Belichick’s connection with Coach Kelly (and thus with Rees), we switched to Gilbert after we reviewed his accuracy. He completed 335 of 504 passes (66 percent) for 3,528 yards and 21 touchdowns in 10 games, missing the final two with a knee injury. Also ran for six TDs. He passed for over 300 yards in eight games and over 400 in three games. Totaled 538 yards passing vs. Temple.

SMU’s pro day is planned for March 28.

The Rutgers Guy

Antwan Lowery, Offensive Guard (6-3, 310). Rutgers rookies have been traveling to Gillette more often than Bon Jovi. Lowery battled injuries this past year but in 2012 was honored as a First Team All-Big East offensive lineman. In January, he participated in the East-West Shrine Game. During his redshirt freshman year he switched from D-line to offense, also filling in as a fullback for short-yardage situations.

Rutgers’ pro day is slated for March 12. (Put that on your calendar, Pats fans!)

What say you, draftniks? What players have we missed? What potential trades have we failed to take into account? Let us know in the space below.

Chris Warner can be reached via email at chris. [email protected] or through Twitter at @cwarn89

 

 

Sports Media Musings: February Sports Coverage Is The Worst Kind Of Sports Coverage

Programming Note: With Bruce away, I’m captaining the ship this week. Always exciting, often disastrous. Shoot tips, comments, and other feedback to [email protected] or, if you consider yourself the progressive type, yell at me on Twitter, @Hadfield__.

WARNING: THIS IS A RANT

I don’t like to be the Everything Sucks Guy. I really don’t. The Internet is full of Everything Sucks Guy(s). You don’t need another one of those voices filling the space here. But today, dear readers, I deviate; because while hanging out with friends this weekend, we pondered a significant question: Is February the worst month of the calendar year to be a Boston sports fan?

It has to be. Ohhhh, it hassss to be. We’re stuck in quicksand consuming takes on takes on takes about the NFL Combine, Red Sox Spring Training, and the merits of tanking in the NBA. Really, the only thing we have to hold our hat on is the Bruins. And, keep in mind, the playoffs are months away. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for Jenny Dell, Will Middlebrooks and Everlasting Love; the over-saturation there helped me avoid an over-the-top, deep-dive into the meaning of Erin Andrews’s new role as host of “Dancing With The Starts.” (Or Erin Andrews doing anything, really.)

But, truthfully, I can’t stand February. This realization goes beyond the lack of relevant games, though — it’s everything else which has made consuming sports better and worse in 2014. What this all comes down to is speculation. Because if speculation is what you crave, February will tickle your fancy.

The main offender here is the NFL Combine, because the NFL Combine is terrible. Actually, let me rephrase — the combine itself isn’t horrible, but the way we digest the results definitely is. The problem is that the wall-to-wall coverage has not made us better, more knowledgeable fans. Nope. It’s made us informed juuuuuust enough that we’re annoying about the whole endeavor – like a college student trying to explain Occupy Wall Street to Will McAvoy.

Yeah, that’s fans and the media these days. A lot of people talking at once, without any real idea what’s going on in front of us.

For example, did you hear that draft pundit on “Toucher & Rich” this morning? I didn’t bother remembering his “premium” website, because he said things like “Jadeveon Clowney isn’t a winner.” He spoke in generalities and clichés, it was like listening to Danny Woodhead, circa 2011, tell the media he “just has to work on improving, day-in and day-out.”

What is happening here?

Well, 35 percent of fans, bloggers, “analysts”, radio hosts, and the like, take combine crap wayyyyy too seriously; as if someone’s 40-yard dash time tells you EVERYTHING you need to know about whether or not Player X will be an impact guy on Sundays.

(Because 40-yard Go -Routes are all the jazz in pro offenses these days. Seriously, I’d rather see how well DBs and WRs deal with pick plays; at least that would provide real context and maybe educate us with insight into what’s “dirty” or clean)

Then there’s 40 percent of the same crew, who have a little better handle on real life and understand that game film matters more than how awesome Player X is at working out. Of the remaining 25 percent, a decent chunk — let’s say 20 percent — then find themselves explaining the real value at the combine: the player interviews with team representatives behind closed doors: Are you in shape? What do team doctors think of you? Is your mom – or has she ever been – a prostitute?

Finally, the remaining five percent of people invested in this process, in one form or another, throw their hands up and say “I have no idea what is going on, and neither does anyone else.” As the coverage ramps up – and, in coming years, methinks it will – the blurriness between these groups will only distort. I can’t wait.

Spring Training isn’t much better. Let me sum it up for you: Xander Bogaerts is well on his way to being the next Mike Trout (Because you have to file the unreasonable column in Spring Training, so you can write the “WHAT’S WRONG WITH Xander??” column come July. Jackie Bradley Jr. is emphatically shaking his head in agreement). Jon Lester says he’ll take a home team discount, but that’s only left us to ask if he’ll take a real home team discount?

More story lines: Lots of Stephen Drew talk, the ongoing debate surrounding David Ortiz’s contract, and Ryan Dempster‘s shocking decision to walk away from $13 million. Plus, lots of stretching. That too. Like the combine, getting wrapped up in this discussion is fun, but generally pointless until the games start. (After all, remember, Bobby Valentine dazzled the cynical Boston sports media in Spring Training before the fourth estate gloriously turned on him.)

I won’t even get into tanking. At this point, the only thing worse than tanking is talking about the idea of tanking. Also, seedy stories like Rajon Rondo taking “unscheduled” off-days are always a good time; I’m sure people will have reasonable takes about that situation. This should be fun.

***

Now, as I understand it, the popular month’s people tend to point to as the nadir of the Boston sports calendar are July or August.

Not to be a jerk, but to that I say FOOLS. All of you.

(Alert: HOT LIFE TAKE coming your way – set your mind to blown)

As the wonky Internet writer, who fancies himself an intellectual luminary, one that is omniscient about these sorts of things (Read: life matters), allow me to explain. You see, there is life that takes place outside of sports. And July and August is when the other aspects in life supersede the enjoyment gained from sports. That’s not to say there is no room for sports, of course — but its place is auxiliary to all the other great events that make summer, well, summer.

Day drinking. Barbeques. Barbeques AND drinking. Beach days. Beach nights. Beach days AND beach nights. Summer concerts. Not to mention, people are in better shape and appear to be considerably happier – mainly because it doesn’t hurt to go outside. Sports is the cherry on top when I have all that going on in my life.

February? In February, it hurts to go outside. My lips are constantly chapped, face egregiously red because of wind burn, and people around me all gain weight because they can wear layers in the winter. And while there’s day drinking, it’s typically indoors in order to avoid the elements.

Case in point: my friends and I spent Saturday bowling, because there was alcohol and it was near my buddy’s condo. Then we watched Duke-Syracuse and speculated about NBA Draft prospects, because, as previously mentioned, in February there’s not much else to do but speculate.