Shaughnessy – The Last 100 Columns

I’m not sure why I subjected myself to this, but I took some time to peruse the last 100 columns that Dan Shaughnessy has written.

This 100 columns dates back to October 14, 2013. So in almost exactly 6 months, he’s written 100 columns.

58 are on the Red Sox. Given that they won the World Series at the start of this timeframe and have held spring training and the start of the season since, it’s natural they would get the most mentions, especially when you consider special editions for the World Series Champions and Season Previews. Still, that’s a lot. Of the 58, 37 were positive or mostly positive. 11 were neutral. 10 were negative or negative/neutral.

20 are on the Patriots. Of those, I deemed 12 to be completely negative. 4 were neutral, 2 were positive. 1 was stupid. (The 12/10/13 parody of how the Patriots could be Super Bowl champs.) and 1 was negative/positive – the Darrelle Revis signing column where he lauded the move, but still took all his usual shots.

5 were “thoughts” columns. I was actually surprised there weren’t more of these.

4 were on Harvard during the NCAA tournament, and his transparent attempt to make Tommy Amaker the next Boston College coach.

2 were on the Celtics

2 on the Super Bowl

2 on general NFL topics

1 on the Texans (victory lap)

1 on the Orioles

1 on UMass

1 on MLB HoF voting

1 on himself (Write not Root)

1 on the Seahawks (Marshawn Lynch and not talking to the media, really)

1 on High School athletics

0 were on the Bruins. (Bruins fans probably prefer it that way.)

The full list:

Appreciating The Unmatched Genius Of Dan Shaughnessy

I don’t know this for sure, but I suspect that in private life, Dan Shaughnessy is a man of iron routine, someone who finds something that works for him, and then does not deviate from it. He’s likely someone who doesn’t handle change very well, and tries his hardest to manage his life in such a way that not much surprises him. We heard stories about how he had the same crappy car for years and years – it was an ongoing joke during the early WEEI days, before the Globe ban. He’s written a column about his obsession with running exactly one mile on a treadmill every single day no matter what. (A MILESTONE, IN SLOW MOTION)

This resistance to change is apparent in his work, where he provides a mad-libs series of column templates, which are used over and over again. Within these recycled columns, he even recycles elements and references, (tomato cans, Animal House, Warren Zevon, Amos Alonzo Kraft, etc etc etc) most of which are terribly dated, but as mentioned, Shaughnessy’s not big on change.

Where’s the genius part, you ask?

Somehow, Shaughnessy has managed to continually pull off the exact same Jedi mind-trick over and over and over. He gets not only Boston, but opposing cities, and national networks to fall for his schtick and give him the attention (and yes, money!) that he is looking for.

Let’s run through the last 48 hours, so that you can see what I’m talking about here.

On Tuesday, Dan’s horrendous column on Patriots/Colts is published. It’s written in such a way that it will make both sides angry. In a nutshell, the theme is The Patriots suck, but the Colts still can’t beat them.

Patriots fans who read the column – and that number dwindles by the day – were furious. Just another hackjob on the Patriots, and this time he included among the usual drivel, the jab that Gerry Callahan suggested he should use – the one about the life guard chairs.

Even though the column is decidedly anti-Patriots, the title is Colts won’t be a challenge for the Patriots.

Naturally, that headline made its way to Indianapolis, where people who aren’t familiar with Shaughnessy on a daily basis took it at face value and were outraged. One semi-prominent Indianapolis blogger said the following of the column:

…since when is a columnist nothing more than a cheerleader for a team they cover?  This column would have made for a good call to a sportstalk station from a deranged and myopic fan.

Just stop and think for a minute here. Dan Shaughnessy wrote a column that bashed the Patriots, and yet there are people out there who think that the column was him cheerleading for the Patriots.

Talk about Jedi mind tricks…

There is just enough in the column for both sides to pick and use as evidence for their side. Genius!

What does this get Dan? He gets to make the media rounds. When doing shows, invariably when he is in the opposing city, instead of being the bombastic columnist, he becomes the humble scribe who is really just a nice guy doing his job, who doesn’t really know much about football, and Gee whiz fellas, I sure hope the Colts can come in here and beat the Patriots!

He writes the column prior to his weekly appearance on 98.5 the Sports Hub – think about it, he could’ve easily written that column to appear today, but instead, he got to bask in the attention yesterday on the radio, and then in the evening do the TV side, which gives us this.

shaughnessy-colts

NFL Network mentioned the column last night, had Bob Kravitz of the Indy Star on to give “the other side” thus portraying Shaughnessy as some sort of homer columnist blindly rooting (ironic, huh?) for the Patriots.

So with one trolling column, Shaughnessy managed to do the following:

  • Get both fan bases steamed at him- and talking about him.
  • Cause an uproar on Twitter and the blogosphere. ( I SWORE I was not going to write about this. And I still did.)
  • Get national attention for himself.
  • Make multiple (paid) radio and television appearances.

The thing is, HE DID THIS LAST YEAR TOO. Exactly a year ago. He’s done it dozens of times.

The exact same playbook.

And yet, everyone falls for it again. They give him exactly what he is seeking, and do so without hesitation. I’m doing it right now.

The man is a genius. He just is.

He revels in your hatred, and has for a long time.

most_hated_man

The only way to make him go away is to ignore him, and many out there have been able to do that, and their sports lives are happier for it.

Unfortunately, there are plenty who can’t, and the biggest offenders are his fellow media who, mindless drones that they are, when he writes something like this can’t wait to get him on as a guest and take advantage of the publicity (and most times, anger) of the local fans.

Forget the Jedi mind tricks, Shaughnessy is The Emperor.

You want this, don’t you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

The more we get angry at him and give him attention, the more power he has over us. He knows that, and keeps it coming. We need to break the cycle.

I’m as guilty as anyone else. I try not to mention the guy, and yet, I still get sucked in and find myself writing 1000-word posts like this one.

For that, I apologize. I’m apparently no match for the genius of Dan Shaughnessy.

Media Circling Wagons Around Shaughnessy Are As Clueless As He Is

I’m convinced that the majority of these media people 1) only read the headline or summary of the column, namely that sportwriters shouldn’t root for teams,  and 2) have no idea about some of the stuff Shaughnessy has pulled over the years.

I’m not going to launch into another 2000 word screed here. Just want to reemphasize a couple of things.

I keep hearing from media, while Shaughnessy goes on his media victory tour “Dan’s absolutely right, media shouldn’t be rooting for teams.” – as if that is the entire issue here. The enabling hosts cry “But it would be so boring if there weren’t brave people like Dan and Ron Borges around!  They’re making this into “Shaughnessy makes fans mad because he picks against the locals!!!”  As if that matters at all. I don’t care who he picks to win.

Let me be clear: I don’t think sportswriters should be rooting for the home team.

It is possible though, to write entertaining columns while remaining detached from the outcome and without completely trashing the locals.

I understand that Dan Shaughnessy is simply not a talented enough writer to do this. He’s no Ray Fitzgerald or Leigh Montville. He’s not Bruce Arthur. He only knows one way, and that is the misery way. Shaughnessy is utterly predictable.

Either that, or he’s just too lazy.  Yeah, he’s not there to root. He’s there to troll the fans. That’s brave? That’s creative? When was the last time you ever learned something from a Shaughnessy column? The next time will be the first time for me.

This morning Shaughnessy said his not caring about the outcome allowed him to sit and write after the Patriots blew a 19-0 season instead of “wetting his pants” like the fanboys and presumably others in the pressbox were doing. Even on the air, he needs to bring that game up whenever possible.

How noble. How brave. Yes, Joe Sullivan, I know Shaughnessy is the bravest columnist you’ve ever seen.

I can see how others in the media just want to hold him up as a shining example of their profession.

 

.@Dan_Shaughnessy Is Here To Troll, Not To Write

It seems like Dan Shaughnessy isn’t feeling the love as of late. Why else devote a whole column to trying to justify his pitiful existence?

As usual, Dan also completely misses the point, and shows repeatedly just how clueless and out of touch he really is.

I’ve sort of shied away from the Dan Shaughnessy topic for a few years, mostly because most people who come here have already tuned him out. Beating a dead horse isn’t enjoyable for anyone.

That said, his submission this morning needs to be exposed for the pathetic cry for attention that it really is.

Do you want coverage or celebration? Do you want subjective commentary and analysis, or do you just want writer/fans rooting for the local teams to win?

It is interesting to me that Dan used the word “subjective” here. It is of course, the opposite of “objective.” A subjective commentary integrates the writer’s personal perspective, feelings, beliefs, and yes, biases.

We’ll go more into this later, but I find it really curious that he talks about being the opposite of objective, but then attempts to hide behind the “rules of journalism” and so forth.

But to answer Dan’s question, and I’ve said this dozens of times before, fans don’t want the media to root for their teams. But they don’t want them to be rooting against them, either. It’s called being objective, which I’m convinced, many people in media have no idea how to be. To them, being snide, and negative is being objective.

So anyway, Dan claims that many Patriots fans came up to him down in Florida and asked Don’t you want the Patriots to win?

I call BS. If anyone knew who Shaughnessy was enough to approach and talk to him, they already know what he’s about. I just find it extremely unbelievable that legit Patriots fans would go up to Shaughnessy and ask him that.

Now that he’s got that impossible scenario set up, he unloads:

I don’t care if they win. I don’t care if they lose. I love sports. I love football. I love the story. The story can be great, win or lose. But I am not emotional about the outcome. Overall, of course, it’s better to work in a region with good teams, and Boston has more than any other city. Most of the time it’s a great story if they win. It’s even good for the city. Money flows. Strangers talk with each other. Sometimes it’s a good story even if they lose.

I’ll state this right now. Dan does not love sports. He especially does not love football. How else can you explain that 90% of his columns (that’s an unscientific measurement, by the way) are miserable trolling attempts to anger people? Even when he writes “positive” he does it in a way that is so far over-the-top that you know that he is still trolling. He’s mocking you.

I’ll give Dan a little credit, he at least makes it into the 1990′s with his pop culture reference in this column.

You’ve no doubt seen “The Fugitive” with Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford. It’s a classic. There’s a scene early in the film where Jones, as Deputy US Marshal Samuel Gerard, pursues fugitive Dr. Richard Kimble (Ford) through a viaduct in a dam. In the ensuing confrontation, Kimble points a gun at Gerard and says, “I didn’t kill my wife.’’

With nary a shred of emotion, Gerard barks, “I don’t care.’’

That’s it right there, people. It’s not the marshal’s job to determine Dr. Kimble’s guilt or innocence. The marshal’s job is to bring him in.

That’s me. I write the stories. I care about the stories. But when my head hits the pillow at the end of the day it does . . . not . . . matter to me if the Patriots won or lost.

Of course Shaughnessy fancies himself the journalistic equivalent of Tommy Lee Jones’ character. Of course he does. (As noted by Craig Calcaterra, if Shaughnessy’s job is not to determine guilt or innocence, why did he write the May column accusing David Ortiz of using steroids?)

He cares about the stories. The problem is, he focuses exclusively on stories that are usually contrived controversies, innuendo, settling scores, making a splash so he can make extra money with a Jim Rome appearance, or just lazy, recycled bits that he’s written a dozen times before. Is it a “good story” if no one enjoys it?

He doesn’t care if the locals win or lose? This is the guy who put his kids through college by writing about the misery of Red Sox fans having to deal with a made-up “curse” and as long as the team kept losing, he could keep adding chapters to his book. He had a financial stake in the team losing year after year – the more painful the ending, the better.

For years, Shaughnessy’s email was [email protected] But no, he doesn’t care if the team won or lost.

Now we get into the most ridiculous part of the column:

This is how we were trained a few decades ago. We were instructed not to root for the home team. Just deliver the story and the analysis.

That’s the way it is in other departments of a legitimate news operation. Journalists who cover politics, science, medicine, labor, and international relations are asked to put their agendas on the shelf. Tell the story. The reporter covering the Romney-Obama election is not supposed to be a fan of either candidate.

Why is it presumed to be different for us? Why do readers expect — and in some cases, demand — that sports reporters be fans of the team they cover? This amazes me. Are we supposed to suspend all rules of journalism because we cover sports?

Have you stopped laughing yet? Asked to put their agendas on the shelf. Does anyone have more agendas than Shaughnessy does? What a fraud. This is the guy who, because he was supposedly snubbed by the Kraft family at some breakfast the team put on over 15 years ago, continues to slam them every opportunity he gets.

Readers don’t expect, much less demand that sports reporters be fans. That’s utter nonsense. The real reason Shaughnessy is hated goes right over his head. Rational people are not upset that he doesn’t’ root for the home team. They object to the manner in which he continually attacks certain home teams and players.

Remember earlier Dan asked if we wanted “subjective” analysis? Wouldn’t that go against these “rules of journalism?”

OK, some might say “He’s a columnist, he’s supposed to give his opinion, and be controversial.” I’m not the one citing “rules of journalism” here and attempting to hide behind them as some an excuse for his work. Is a columnist exempt from these “rules of journalism?” If so, why is he then citing them? Is it against the rules of journalism to use the people you supposedly cover to also get your children jobs and internships?

Trust me when I tell you this whole thing has changed. When I came into this business in the 1970s, it was OK for sports reporters to be skeptical and critical. It was not a crime against humanity if you suggested the Patriots or Red Sox might not win the championship, or perhaps might not be serving the best interests of their fans. It was OK to occasionally poke fun at Haywood Sullivan or Billy Sullivan.

I’ll take Dan’s word for it. I know there were plenty of critical sports writers in those days. I also know there were columnists like Ray Fitzgerald, who wrote columns that are still enjoyable to read today. 30 years from now, what will people think if they look back and read Shaughnessy? Why was he so miserable? Leigh Montville shows that a columnist doesn’t have to be constantly bashing the locals in order to be successful.

But if you also read Howard Bryant’s Shut Out, you know that there were plenty of sportswriters in the 70′s who covered the Red Sox and ignored the team’s racist practices. So I’m not sure his claim that they were so critical holds up very well there.

I love the phrase ‘crime against humanity’ slipped in there – isn’t that what Dan and his buds usually accuse Bill Belichick of on a regular basis?  Also they could “occasionally poke fun at” ownership. Does anyone with half a brain think that Shaughnessy is “poking fun” at Robert Kraft when he takes his shots?

 Naturally, the Internet is a good source of explanation for this new dynamic. The web gives fans an infinite forum. Fans have a place to read like-minded people. It’s like one giant sports-talk show with no hosts interrupting. It turns out that fans love reading other fans. And, naturally, they all love their teams. What a surprise. Now they expect everyone else to love a team. It’s the wild west of fanboys.

Stupid “fanboys” reference. Check.

But not everything is always great and it’s OK to point this out now and then. Opinions about sports don’t impact important issues that touch our lives. This isn’t about taxes, abortion, gun control, or health care. It’s about first-round byes and Cover 2 defenses. If we have differing opinions about Wes Welker, it doesn’t mean we can’t get along with one another.

And then:

In this spirit, I submit that the 2013 Patriots are headed to an unfortunate ending this season. Please don’t take this as negativity. It’s just an opinion. I may be wrong. But it really won’t matter if I’m right or wrong. It’s sports. It’s entertainment. It’s fun. And it’s not going to change your life or mine, one way or another.

Wait, so the entire point of this column was to tell us that the Patriots are headed to an unfortunate ending this season. Was it only eight days ago you wrote a ridiculous, over-the-top piece about how the Patriots were going to win the Super Bowl? (By the way, I don’t think the Patriots win the Super Bowl this season, but that’s not going to stop me from enjoying the remaining games.)

Setting that aside for the moment,  Dan is telling us that sports doesn’t matter. It’s unimportant. It’s not life or death. It’s not death, taxes or politics.

OK, granted. Then why all the references to the vaunted rules of journalism above? Isn’t this a contradiction? He has to follow these rules (which he doesn’t) but the subject of sports doesn’t compare to politics or actual news reporting. If we’re talking apples and oranges here, why does it matter? He says it doesn’t. So what is the point here?

I have no problem with pointing out problems on the local teams. I have a problem with him being a totally biased, agenda-riddled prick while doing it, and then hiding behind some “rules of journalism” which he flaunts by being “subjective” when he pretends to be “objective.”

Dan – It’s OK to have your opinion. But you need to own it, not hide behind some “rules of journalism.”

Going back to Dan’s Fugitive reference, does he know how the movie closed out?

Dr. Richard Kimble: I thought you didn’t care?
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don’t.
[laughs]
Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Don’t tell anybody, OK?

Shaughnessy cares. Much more than he’ll ever admit. He just wants you to think he doesn’t.

Do you know why he cares? Because he’s a dinosaur. Even Carl Everett would admit this. He’s rapidly approaching extinction. In 1993 his employer was purchased by the New York Times for $1.1 billion. It was sold this fall for $70 million, or less than half what the Yankees will be paying Jacoby Ellsbury over the next seven years.

The Globe has to ‘double count’ subscribers in order to even seem respectable. Shaughnessy is behind a paywall, meaning fewer and fewer people are reading him, which means he has to try harder to get attention.

No Dan, we don’t want you to root for the local teams. We just want you to go away.

Dan Shaughnessy Wants You To Know You Were Wrong, Too.

Poor Dan Shaughnessy.

He’s feeling persecuted right now. All you get-a-lifers are coming after him, and making him feel bad.

Being wrong is OK by me, but I was bombarded Thursday by fans consumed with a message of, “You need to eat crow! How could you have been so wrong?’’ I’m hoping all those folks went to Vegas in March and are now collecting thousands.

So the voice of New England sports, who likes to brag about when he writes a scathing column and then shows up in the locker room the next day, can’t take accountability to his customers for when he is epically wrong? He has to hide under the “no one else saw this coming either” excuse? (If you did go to Vegas and bet, are you allowed to taunt Dan?)

In February, he already had his mind made up about the team:

Sorry. The juice glass is half-empty today. These guys could be really bad. And really boring. “Scrappy” doesn’t sell in Boston in 2013. Not after everything that’s happened. For $170 million, a little more prime-time talent would have been nice.

Failed predictions are not a big deal. Everyone makes them. It’s true that very few people had any expectations for this team. There are a few differences though.

Shaughnessy and his colleagues in the media – notably a certain afternoon radio duo that rhymes with Elger and Assaorotti – once they had established their narrative, they had to keep it going, and try to keep proving that they were smarter than the unwashed fans. They seek to ruin the fan experience, and bring the attention on themselves. It’s also not just that the predictions are made, it’s that they’re made in the most dickish way possible.

Shaughnessy is the professional here. He’s the alleged sports authority in Boston. He’s the one getting paid – very handsomely – to give his opinion. So when it is proven to be wrong, not just a little bit wrong, but historically wrong, he’s got to strike back at his customers and tell them they were all wrong too?

A wise Boston-based NFL reporter recently tweeted that “People in our business are supposed to tell the public what news is, not the other way around.” Based on that, does Dan think it is impossible to believe that some people actually based their opinions on the potential of the Red Sox on what HE told them? (If they did, they’re morons, but that’s another story.)

After all, as he said in February he had spent “Two weeks and too many hours in the Sox clubhouse” actually observing the team and what was going on. I know we’re talking about Shaughnessy here, but is it impossible that people read what he wrote, and concluded that since he had been there for two weeks, he might know better than they did how good/bad this team was going to be?

In any event, he’s supposed to be the expert. He failed. Now he wants us to forget it all, and join him as he writes glowing tributes about how great this team was, and if you bring up his original predictions about them, well, too bad, because YOU didn’t know either.

The thing is, despite his protests, he loves this. He lives for this. He’s on Gresh and Zo right now “defending himself” against all this backlash. He’s soaking it up, basking in the glow that even though the Red Sox just won the World Series, people are thinking about HIM.

I need to go shower now.

By the way, Bill Ballou at the Globe’s sister paper in Worcester back in March predicted that the Red Sox would win the AL East in 2013.

So, 2013 has to be better than 2012. It’ll be better than 2011, for that matter. The 2013 Red Sox will be AL East champions, and I’m willing to put money on it.

Can anybody loan me a nickel?

(Thanks to Lance for pointing this out.)
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Somewhat related – does it bother anyone else that media and media bloggers who spent the entire season dumping on the Red Sox and their players (and the other teams in town) now have no issues composing odes to how great it is to be a sports fan in Boston, and how these Red Sox define Boston?  They spend every waking hour figuring out what to complain about, and what #hotsportztake is going to be most infuriating, but then turn into puddles of mush when the season is successful.

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They don’t make ‘em like this anymore:

Top of the World – Leigh Montville’s column on the Red Sox win.

Papi and After – How about 93-year-old Roger Angell still cranking out baseball writing?

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How did things shake down on Wednesday night, numbers-wise?

Nationally, the Red Sox game did a 11.3/18.

More information from FOX on game six:

  • Boston led all markets with a massive 55.2/75, the best MLB rating in the market since Game 4 of the 2007 World Series.
  • Boston peaked with a 59.5/84 from 11:00 -11:30 PM ET during the Fenway Park on-field celebration. Red Sox hub Providence followed with a 44.1/61.
  • St. Louis delivered a 37.9/55 followed by Hartford (27.8/41), Fort Myers (16.6/27), Kansas City (14.4/23), Tampa (13.4/21), Memphis (13.3/19), Las Vegas (13.0/22), and Richmond (12.9/22) to round out the top 10.
  • For the six-game series, St. Louis was the top metered market averaging 40.6/60 while Boston came in at 39.6/60.
  • According to figures released by Nielsen SocialGuide, World Series Game 6 was the most social program of the day with 1.6 million tweets from 623,000 unique authors. The 2013 World Series drew 4.3 million tweets, up 86% from the 2012 World Series and more than three times the number of tweets compared to the 2011 World Series.
  • According to Facebook, the 2013 World Series generated 32 million interactions from 11 million users. The Red Sox won the team buzz battle 62% to 38% over the Cardinals during the six-game series. World Series MVP David Ortiz was the most buzzed about player with nearly four times the comments, likes, and posts compared to any other player.

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Finally, Chad Finn’s media column from today- Fox should go bold in replacing Tim McCarver – has plenty of media notes and observations from the series.

Another Patriots Problem, Sox Win Again

Alfonzo Dennard doesn’t seem to have gotten the message. It may just cost him his job.

The Patriots cornerback was arrested last night around 2:00am in Lincoln NE, on suspicion of DUI. Even if he was not drunk, he showed incredible lack of judgement just by being out on the town at 2:00am in a city in which he was already convicted of assaulting a police officer.

Because Bob Kraft spoke the other day, and because of what he said, the team is almost obligated to cut Dennard right away, if not for DUI, then for being stupid.

The media is salivating over another Patriots incident, all enjoying the opportunity to get their licks in.

Meanwhile, the Red Sox keep at it, winning again in Seattle last night, this time sailing to an 11-4 win over the Mariners.

Red Sox have new fearsome twosome in middle of order – Rob Bradford notes that that Pedroia/Ortiz isn’t quite Ramirez/Ortiz, but it’s really good.

David Ortiz firmly
 in Sox’ high five – John Tomase says Big Papi belongs with Clemens, Pedro, Williams and Yaz as franchise icons.

Jacoby Ellsbury seems in no hurry to leave – Nick Cafardo has the Red Sox centerfielder saying he enjoys and appreciates playing in Boston.

Bruins sign Rask to eight-year contract – The Bruins officially signed goaltender Tuukka Rask to a huge contract yesterday, ensuring that Tuukka time will continue in Boston.

Danny Ainge happy, but salary cap a concern – Gary Washburn has the Celtics exec satisfied with his work thus far in the offseason, but still looking to get the cap situation under control.

Pressey already locked up spot in Celtics camp – A. Sherrod Blakely looks at the undrafted rookie, who has his camp invitation lined up with a strong showing in the summer league.

Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy outdid himself this morning with a snarky, bitter, sarcastic take on all four sports teams which likely took him less than 15 minutes altogether to write. KG a mercenary? Check. Lamenting the lack of disgrace being heaped on the Bruins for their “epic collapse” in game six? Check. Sucking up to potential future boss John Henry? Check. Shots at Robert Kraft, Bill Belichick, the “holier than others” Patriots and their “legions of sycophants?” Check, check, check and check.

I’ve said it before, and will say it again. The best thing the Globe ever did was put Shaughnessy behind the paywall.

Unkind Reactions To Shaughnessy Column on Ortiz

While Dan Shaughnessy gets lionized among local media for his David Ortiz column from the other day, especially among sports radio hosts, a few people displaced from the local scene see the column for what it really was: garbage.

The worst baseball writing of the month -Rob Neyer says that the column takes muckraking to a whole different place.

You know what’s really a shame? I mean, aside from the fact that Shaughnessy gets paid a great deal of money to compose this drivel, year after year? He might have spared himself this particular embarrassment if he weren’t so bloody afraid of statistics that his grandpappy didn’t teach him.

And more.

Nowhere in the column does Shaughnessy offer even the tiniest shred of evidence, not one, that Ortiz’s bat speed is higher now than when he was 34. Nothing from an Internet database, no quote from some grizzled (and anonymous) scout. Just the argument that Ortiz’s bat speed must be higher because hey look! .426!

From Deadspin: Dan Shaughnessy Invents Some David Ortiz PED Rumors

Except, this isn’t a column accusing David Ortiz of PED usage. It’s a column about David Ortiz denying accusations of PED usage. Except there are no active accusations, so Shaughnessy has to create them, confront Ortiz with them, and then run his denials. The truly incredible part is that at some point, this logic ran through Shaughnessy’s brain and he decided it would be a good idea for a column.

He concludes:

The Red Sox have been in first place for most of a season in which they’re supposed to finish last. If there’s not enough there for a local sports columnist without having to resort to sorry-I’m-not-sorry defamation after a month, I feel for Dan Shaughnessy’s shriveled black writer’s soul. But Boston’s lost three in a row, seven of 10, and Ortiz is hitless in his last 13 at-bats. Shank can happily go back to blasting the team for being bad, which is a lot easier and more straightforward than this tortured bit of “I’m just asking questions.”

Question For Dan Shaughnessy Fans (Yes, They Do Exist)

Something I’m curious about. For those of you out there who enjoy Dan Shaughnessy, and I know you are out there, presumably you’re drawn to his style of ripping down athletes and teams and taking shots and carrying grudges.

How do you feel when he writes columns which go to a hyperbolic level in the other direction, such as the ones from the last two days? Yesterday’s Jackie Bradley Jr. lovefest, and today’s At this rate, will the Red Sox ever lose? which starts out like this:

They may never lose.

They may never trail.

Worst to first. Two games into the season, this is the theme of the 2013 Red Sox.

And is it possible for Jackie Bradley Jr. to be the Face of the Franchise after only two games in the big leagues?

I personally find these types of columns even more annoying than the ripfests, as these columns are incredibly patronizing and mocking a fan mentality that does not exist.

What do you think?

Shaughnessy – “I don’t know a ton about football.”

The brave columnist from the Boston Globe went onto Houston sports radio to talk about his Sunday column…and turtled completely, telling the hosts he’s not a football guy, he doesn’t know a ton about football and saying “you got me” when confronted with specific parts of his column.

Not really a surprise.

Shank Goes Into a Full-on Backpedal About His Texans Column – Barstool Sports Boston.

Dan Shaughnessy, Don’t Know Football? – Houston Media Watch

This whole thing is another of those incidents where I’m torn as to whether I even bother mentioning at all, because it only gives Shaughnessy and his ilk exactly what he is seeking – more attention.

It’s happening more and more. Columns are written, statements are made simply to generate buzz. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. By bringing them up and even attempting to denounce them, I’m simply feeding the monster and adding to the buzz.

Another example would be Felger yesterday. He’s moved on from Rajon Rondo is a “punk.” Now he is a “dick” and a “loser.” What do you even do with that? That’s not just criticism of him as player, it’s an indictment of him a human being. It’s personal, and it’s on the most popular sports radio show in the city right now.

People clearly enjoy this type of media coverage, whether it is Shaughnessy or Felger. I must be old and out of touch, because I don’t get the appeal. It’s not entertaining to me.

I actually like to watch the games, and have them broken down an analyzed. I guess that’s old school these days.

There are plenty of people doing good work in this town, but they are overshadowed by the blowhards.

Instead you have people who openly admit they don’t know much about the game, making incendiary comments and being propped up as the voice of a region and representing Boston sports.

It’s depressing, to be honest.

Shaughnessy’s Column Used As Bulletin Board Material by @ArianFoster

Arian Foster of the Texans has a new Twitter avatar.

From Shaughnessy’s column yesterday.