Sports Media Musings: The Mailbag, Chapter V

Welcome to the Monthly Weekly?? Sports Media Mailbag! Here are comments and emails from you, the readers, with insight on your favorite sports media personalities. To contribute to the mailbag, either shoot me an email at [email protected], hit me up on Twitter @Hadfield__, or leave a response in the comments section of any one of my columns.

Took a vacation from my vacation in Key West to finish writing this (fifth!) edition of the Sports Media Mailbag. In addition to this, if you have time to kill at your desk, check out my recent columns for Metro Boston on the Nike Tiger Woods ad and my ranking of the current best home(field/ice/court) advantage in Boston. I hope you guys enjoy. As always, thanks for reading.

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Does anyone really know what is going on with the morning show? I know you wrote: ”I’m told the Kirk Minihane seclusion is a very real thing.” It is painful. It’s bad. It’s extremely odd. I almost get the impression that John Dennis is now Peter from Office Space but the Bob’s have not come yet. They’re now doing a Sweet 16 of “Female Boston News Personalities”. 60 year-old guys gawking at women in their 20s on the radio?

The Kirk Minihane thing is fantastic because he is so candid about it. From my conversations with him in the past, I’m not shocked. That’s how he is. It’s how he’s always been. On Twitter, he’s openly mocking the happenings on the show he is purportedly involved in, but in reality, not actually part of. It’s subversive and it’s very real.

mini

As far as the other part to the question, I’m writing something on this for next week, but here is a quick summary of the morning radio wars: For my money, good sports radio comes down to two things — compelling discourse and likability. The former has never really been a problem for Gerry Callahan and John Dennis, but the latter is burning them right now (kind of the same way it’s burning “Felger & Mazz”, except “Dennis & Callahan”‘s plight has been slow and painful. “Felger & Mazz” are seemingly racing towards self-sabotage). Meanwhile the competition, “Toucher and Rich”, have had the likability aspect locked down since they hit the airwaves, and producers have done a nice job working in call-ins from experts to mask any perceived defenciency talking sports. It’s night and day, really.

Ryan,

Do you have anything original to bring to this column, honestly? Everything you write is a regurgitation of Bill Simmons, Drew Magary, or Mike Tunison style of writing. From the Gregggg to the rip down of local columnists (ala Peter King or Gregg Easterbrook), to the mailbag. Its just so old. Are you really trying to copy writers that are already getting tiresome. Pop-media sports has found its niche. You are not a part of that, find your own style style.

-jmu

True story: My family sees these mailbags and far too often I’m left explaining to my mom that the internet, by nature, is a negative sphere. People aren’t going to go on Yelp and write a good review (unless it’s fantastic and life changing), but they’ll be quick to bash the restaurant that is slow with service. I read Drew Magary but never really check out his takedowns of Gregg Easterbook. Which, in retrospect, looks like a complete ripoff joke. Bad job by me. Won’t happen again.

That aside — and I think readers will attest to this — this media column, now running on its third year, has its own voice and style. The takedown pieces are meant to be brash and boisterous. This probably because I freelance for Metro Boston (which I love doing), but am devoid of a full-time gig. And that’s transparent bitterness on my part. But I take pride in the actual media columns and these mailbags. I try to write with a critical eye (while hopefully holding some entertainment value). Is it an amalgam of some of my favorite writers? Probably. But isn’t that expected to some degree?

And hey, if you want to take one column and use that to judge my body of work, then go for it. Kind of short-sighted, but go for it. Either way, thanks for reading.

You do know that people who spell their name “Gregg” spell it that way because their parents named them that way. People who spell their name “Greg” are really named “Gregory”. -DrakeW

I love everything about this. Thanks for that.

So you are still on the Mike Holley bandwagon. Please explain to me what he does or says that let’s you believe that even if you could have gone back in your DeLorean and moved Dale and Holley to the afternoon that would have worked. Your idea still contains Mike Holley. Other than he is a nice guy, articulate and can write reasonably okay…I don’t see why he has not been banished from the radio. – latetodinner

Underrated subplot of the radio wars has been Michael Holley. He is clearly beloved by the suits over on Guest Street. Holley has been given the keys to the car. There has to be a part of him, though, that is nervous. It’s what I call “good nerves,” meaning butterflies, not jitters. Like if I was given a column at the Boston Globe or New York Times. For me, again, it comes back to likability and compelling discourse. Holley has plenty of the former, and the latter is lacking, but I respect the hell out of him for not going Media Troll on us after abandoning his journalism gig.

This is a guy whose covered the Celtics and Patriots beat (and possibly more, can’t recall), and was once a columnist for the Globe. You know who had a similar career arc? Michael Felger and Tony Massarotti. Notice a difference in how the two handle their business? I do. And it’s refreshing. Of course, ratings don’t take any of that into account, so the question, obviously, becomes whether or not he can he carry a show? The answer, even after all these years, is I don’t know.

I loved, loved, LOVED the few times he was paired with Tom E. Curran or Minihane. Maybe that’s because I know the parties involved. Mike Salk, thus far, hasn’t resonated quite like I wished he would going in, but it’s still a feeling out process. Regardless, it’s a big year for Holley professionally. And yeah, I guess his style gels with what I’m looking for — measured takes that are less LOOK AT ME! and more “Here’s the reasoning why I think __.”

Plus, “banished from the radio” is a little harsh. Don’t you think, LateToDinner?

Two things that I am just baffled by at 98.5, which I have been an avid listener of since it debuted.

1. With such great up and coming talent (Bertrand and Hardy for example) how on earth does a guy like Andy Gresh keep his job?  He is AWFUL!!  Seriously, he has pictures of a big wig over there, right?  The only explanation.  Even if he was reasonably intelligent, his voice alone gives me post concussion syndrome.  He brings out the worst in Zolak, it really reminds me of listening to the dark days of the Big Show with Smerlas and Deossie. 

2.  When the ratings are looked at, do they look at individual days?  Love them or hate them Felger and Mazz ( I am of the former, they are head and shoulders better than every other program) make great radio, EXCEPT Tuesdays.  Jermaine Wiggins on air equals this guy tuning into the other station. 

Am I the only one out there that thinks this????

Dave in Gardner

Speaking of measured takes, how about Marc Bertand and Chris Gasper in the midday? Bertrand is funny and knowledgeable. Gasper is smart and does well articulating his points. The duo developed a nice rapport doing a morning show on Saturdays for The Sports Hub that I wish I heard more of.

I have written extensively about Andy Gresh in this space before. I’ll admit he will grow on me at times, but his monologues are tough to listen to, and he comes across as pompous. There is an authoritative tone, then there is “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Gresh falls on the wrong side of that fence for me. Also, I can’t help but notice him berating listeners on Twitter. Reminds me of the same hubris that took down WEEI.

Re Jermaine Wiggins: This is what I wrote from the first “Sports Media Musings” Bruce Allen published back in the summer of 2011 (yeesh!). It still holds true:

Maybe not as grating, but unfortunately Wiggins is the Mike Adams of 98.5′s afternoon drive show. He either struggles articulating his point, or doesn’t have one — I still am trying to figure out which it is. Bottom line: “Wiggy Wednesdays” are as entertaining as the pending NFL lockout.

Who says there is any “intel” to extract from Lou Merloni? – wdriii

Guys like Scott Zolak and Lou Merloni could — and should — use their experience in the locker room playing at the highest level (albeit in a backup role) and provide audiences with the nuances the common fan can’t see. Surely, from their experiences, they must see the game in a different light than the rest of us. Right? I don’t see why they don’t channel that unique perspective more often is all.

Ryan, 
I generally love your insights, but for the love of god, please get off of Simmons’ stick. I agree that Grantland is great, but notwithstanding that he the most powerful man in sports business, Simmons has become way to proud of himself and his writing has suffered for it. – Ted Sarandis

Agreed. I probably write about Bill Simmons too often for this space. And yeah, the writing has gone down hill, but his presence on TV has vastly improved (and increased); not to mention, the live stream during March Madness could catch on. Just look at this snippet from Richard Deitsch’s “Media Circus” column over at SI.com (special thanks to reader BSMFAN.)

As Sports Business Daily media writer John Ourand observed: “What’s to stop Turner’s Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith and Charles Barkley from putting on their own online halftime show around the NBA Finals, even though the games are on ABC? Or how about NBC firing up its 30 Rock studio to have Dan Patrick, Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison analyze ESPN’s Monday Night Football games online, starting with a couple of minutes left in the first half?”

This is fine, what is everyone complaining about? Isn’t this the guy everyone crowned the new king of sports talk radio in this city? You all (Felger fans) complained about Ordway and his opinions, you ran him out of town by giving Felger your ears, You’re already complaining about Mike Salk and it’s not even a month. You’re okay with personal bashing and stepping over the line, you’ve traded that for real sports talk and you’ve all allowed Felger to brain wash you into believing his “Tell it like it is style” is the way to go. So enjoy it, don’t complain. As For me, I’m fine with EEI, as far as local goes, anything but Felger and Mazz. – Will

I guess I should just come out and say that I don’t have a problem with Felger’s Jeff Green heart surgery remark from last week. When you’re on air for 27 hours a day, you’re subject to capricious miscues. I don’t think Felger would put that in print. Comedy is meant to be (somewhat) offensive, Green is still alive, and so on and so forth. Sounds matter of fact, but it’s just how I feel. Sticks and stones.

Still, would I have made the remark? Do I think it was in bad taste?

Absolutely not. And yes, it was crass. But all I’m saying is that it happens, and when it does, it’s usually worse than what Felger said (e.g. Doug Gottlieb’s “white man perspective” comment during CBS Sports coverage of the NCAA tournament).

As far as giving him the platform: I’d like to think the two are mutually exclusive, Will. Glenn Ordway’s success proved to have as much to do with the lack of competition as his actual show. That doesn’t mean whatever siege “Felger & Mazz” are on in recent weeks should go unnoticed.

The thing that gets me about their show is how there’s seldom any actual INSIGHT into the games being played on the field — something, once upon a time, Felger used to be good at. Now they usually bypass an actual dissection of the game itself for long-winded rants about how Belichick is clueless, Kraft is a liar, Chiarelli sucks, the Celtics suck, the Red Sox suck, the Red Sox ownership sucks…taking shots at reporters covering the Pats…taking shots at players….basically, everyone sucks except for Cam Neely. Got it!” – Andre Dursin

Bingo! This! Just everything about this. I had a bigger issue with Felger saying Green sucks. Because he doesn’t. And if Felger watched basketball, he’d see that. Parading ideas about ownership or coaches is fine, too, but the show has become four hours of hypothetical ulterior motives. It’s exhausting at times.

When Tim McCarver initially started out as a baseball analyst — initially locally in Philly and subsequently on nationally broadcast games — following his playing days (including the proverbial cup of coffee with the Red Sox in the mid-’70s), he was quite enjoyable and very good. Somewhere along the line he became an insufferable, drooling tool which, I believe, started shortly after he was paired with that smug, quintessential DB, Joe Buck.

Want a good Tim McCarver career obit? The best I found, by far, was from Brian Curtis. Great juxtaposition with John Madden‘s old style. Really great read. 

On that note, as always, thanks for reading! We’ll do it again sooner rather than later. If you’re bored Out There, give me a shout on Twitter @Hadfield__.

 

Question For Dan Shaughnessy Fans (Yes, They Do Exist)

Something I’m curious about. For those of you out there who enjoy Dan Shaughnessy, and I know you are out there, presumably you’re drawn to his style of ripping down athletes and teams and taking shots and carrying grudges.

How do you feel when he writes columns which go to a hyperbolic level in the other direction, such as the ones from the last two days? Yesterday’s Jackie Bradley Jr. lovefest, and today’s At this rate, will the Red Sox ever lose? which starts out like this:

They may never lose.

They may never trail.

Worst to first. Two games into the season, this is the theme of the 2013 Red Sox.

And is it possible for Jackie Bradley Jr. to be the Face of the Franchise after only two games in the big leagues?

I personally find these types of columns even more annoying than the ripfests, as these columns are incredibly patronizing and mocking a fan mentality that does not exist.

What do you think?

Sports Media Musings: Gregg Doyel Is Just My Favorite

Quick Programming Note: Running a massive mailbag Thursday morning covering a wide range of local/national media topics. Get involved: Feel free to send along comments, questions, or other funny anecdotes to [email protected] or on Twitter (@Hadfield__)

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Since returning to BSMW, I’ve written a few column breakdowns takedowns, featuring different writers, but Gregg Doyel from CBS Sports is our first scribe to appear twice here. Because he’s the best, guys. You see, Gregggg Doyel doesn’t fall into the usual tropes while writing about sports. No, no, no. He looks at things with a critical, extreme eye. It’s all black and white with Greggggg — there is no middle ground, which is fantastically stupid, and extremely short-sighted. Frankly, I love it.

Case in point: Instead of praising Tom Brady in the aftermath of his team-friendly contract extension, Gregggg questioned just how much of a team player Brady is — stating that if Brady was really a team player, he’d play for the veteran’s minimum (Which, as an aside, isn’t possible for Brady to do under current CBA rules. NO MATTER, SEMANTICS). I’d take it one step further, Brady should be paying the Patriots to play. Why not? Let’s get real crazy! Greggg got a chance to defend his take on WEEI’s “Dennis and Callahan,” and miraculously made John Dennis and Gerry Callahan appear likable, no easy feat.

The key here is to always remember everything is black and white and there is no middle ground. But before we dive in to today’s column, let’s review Greggg’s bio. It’s phenomenal:

Hi. Hello. Congratulations, you found me. And I know why you’re here — it’s because of that column you just read. It angered you. So here you are, trying to decipher my motives.

Good luck.

Authors? Tried to get into David Sedaris and failed. Tried to get into Jonathan Franzen and succeeded. But my favorites are Chuck Palahniuk at his best, and Matt Taibbi at his worst. And me. I’m underrated.

As for your original question … maybe I just don’t like your favorite team. Ever think of that?

So yeah, that’s where we stand. That’s Gregg Doyel.

Anyway, methinks Greggggg liked that moment in the incubator that is Boston sports, because he came back, with a vengeance, to offer another gem: IS THAT BILL BELICHICK GUY REALLY ALL THAT GOOD AT COACHING FOOTBALL OR IS IT JUST BRADY? GO!

This should be fun. Take it away, Gregggggggggg.

Wes Welker is gone, and Bill Belichick is right. Time will tell it. History will show it. Belichick let another superstar go, and his New England Patriots will go about their merry way, winning 10 or more games in 2013 and getting into the playoffs and making a run toward the AFC title game. Maybe the Super Bowl.

Because Bill Belichick is right. He’s always right.

BELICHICK FOR PREZ IN 2016? WHO’S WITH ME!!! No? OK, well I’m going to have The Hoodie do my taxes and pick out a few stocks to invest in. Dude is always right, guys. Always.

But does he know why he’s right? Do you think he understands that he’s right, that the Patriot Way will continue without Welker as it continued without Deion Branch and Ty Law andAsante Samuel and Richard Seymour and Randy Moss – but not because he’s Bill Belichick? But because his quarterback is Tom Brady?

… Don’t forget Russ Hochstein, he was a pivotal member of the offensive line as a versatile player. Plus, he was great in those Visa commercials.

Because I think Belichick really thinks he’s the key to the whole thing. That it starts with him. That he’s the tree producing the fruit, and that Wes Welker can fall off the branch and land in someone else’s orchard and everything in New England will be fine because Belichick will just grow another one.

Bill Belichick thinks he could win with Curry College’s defense. That’s my takeaway here. Is that far off?

… the Patriots will have more than enough offense to win 10 or more games, go to the playoffs, aim for the AFC title game, maybe even get into the Super Bowl. And when it happens, Belichick will think he did that … The Patriots win because the players aren’t the thing. The system is the thing, which means the coach is the thing. That’s how Belichick thinks, if you ask me. His confidence in himself is unshakeable. And misinformed.

Bill Belichick’s conscious viewpoint of HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN (according to Gregg Doyel): The Helmet Catch? All Belichick. Ty Law‘s pick-six in the Super Bowl? Please. All Belichick. John Kasay kicking the ball out of bounds with just over a minute left, giving the Patriots great field position to win their second Super Bowl? Well, you already know, that was BB. All BB.

Guys like Chad Ochocinco have openly begged to play for the Patriots by buttering up Bill Belichick, because that’s how the game is played. Kiss Belichick’s ass, and Belichick will consider you. Kiss Brady’s ass, and you’re pressing your luck.

Greggggggg is dropping a lot of knowledge, guys. He must know the inner workings over at Foxboro. Funny, though, I don’t think I’ve seen any reporting or sources listed at all in this piece. Could this be *gasp* aimless conjecture? Hmm.

Belichick isn’t the magnet in New England — Brady is. Belichick isn’t the certifiable genius at his job; Brady is. Belichick has made plenty of good decisions over the years, sure, but he has also made some of the worst player personnel calls in recent years. Albert Haynesworth? Chad Ochocinco? Belichick wanted those losers. Asante Samuel and Richard Seymour? Belichick let them go.

Brady dated Tara Reid once. I thought that was a terrible personnel decision.

Belichick is good, too. I’m sure of that. Above average? Yeah, probably. He went 11-5 with Matt Cassel at quarterback in 2008 when Brady got hurt, staying focused and using overwhelming talent — talent that was attracted to New England because of Brady — to have another good season. Belichick is above average as a head coach, but great? I’m not sure he’s great.

I don’t have much to add to this text. Just know that Greggg called Belichick a “probably above average” coach after spending the previous 200 words talking about how the NFL is a QB’s league, then tossed aside a season in which Matt Cassel led the Patriots to an 11-5 record. None of this makes sense, yet everything about this makes sense.  And my God, given the premise of this missive, the Cassel season “probably” feels worth mentioning before the 13th paragraph. Just a thought.

Then again, I just hope, someday, like Belichick (according to Doyel), I’m always right. Or at least think I’m right. Or at least think I’m right when really I have the greatest editor working on my stuff, and I’m just “above average.” Yeah, that would be nice.

 

 

 

They Build Them Up So They Can Tear Them Down

A sampling of what’s being said about Jackie Bradley Jr today after his first game in the Majors.

Dan Shaughnessy:

First walk. First hustle on the basepaths. First strikeout. First run. First RBI. First “tremendous” catch.

How long before Dr. Charles Steinberg produces “The Ballad of Jackie Bradley Jr.?’’

How long before Yawkey Way is renamed JBJ Way?

How long before we’re eating loaves of Jackie Bradley Jr. Bread?

More Shaughnessy (From CSNNE)

I think that when he gets a hit we’re going to have to name the field after him, because it’s all coming here … The catch is going to be highlight reel stuff, but getting the guy in on a first and third with one out, that’s a little thing. Getting to second base on the Iglesias grounder to the hole, little thing. All the pitches against Sabathia, seven-pitch at-bat in his first at-bat, little thing, and that wins games.

Jackie MacMullan

The 2013 season is exactly one game old, but already young Bradley has come to personify the infusion of new life and renewed hope for the Red Sox.

Boston thumped its perennial nemesis, the New York Yankees, 8-2 Monday afternoon and Bradley’s fingerprints were all over the victory. The Kid got on base three times (all walks), scored two runs, had his first RBI and made an acrobatic grab in left field to save a run in the third inning.

Ron Borges

To Bradley, who seems as unaffected by all this as Opie in Mayberry, it was “fun.” It wasn’t stressful, not nerve-racking. It was what this time in his life is supposed to be.

We’ll try to remember all this unmitigated praise in the future when these same folks are tearing him down for not living up to expectations, or his agent is asking for too much money.

The whole thing about sending Bradley to the minors so that they can “control” him for an extra year just cracks me up. When the Patriots did that with Vince Wilfork and Benjamin Watson (remember they signed them both to the maximum years allowed for rookie contracts and held them to those contracts) they were deemed “cheap” by the same people insisting the Red Sox are being foolish by giving up a possible year of control by keeping Bradley in the majors.

Bird’s Rookie Year — Game 81 vs. the Cavaliers

Celtics (60-20) vs. Cleveland (36-44)
March 28, 1980
Boston Garden

The Celtics wrapped up a first round bye by clinching the Atlantic Division with a 130-122 victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers.  With the win, the Celtics reached their combined win total from the past two seasons (61) during the 1979-80 season.  Larry Bird scored 33 points for the Celtics.

Larry Bird of the Boston Celtics

The Celtics registered over 30 points in all four quarters, relying a bit more on their offense than usual with Dave Cowens missing the game after reinjuring his left big toe against the Knicks.  Cleveland had no answers for Boston’s starting five was dominant.  In addition to Bird’s 33 points and 10 rebounds, Cedric Maxwell scored 23 point and ripped down 14 boards, while Rick Robey added 25 and 13.  Tiny Archibald continued his comeback season with 21 points and 12 assists.  Another sellout (the 32nd in 41 home games) at the Garden was treated to a dozen points off the bench from Pete Maravich.  A quote from Philadelphia 76ers general manager Pat Williams, per the Boston Globe’s Bob Ryan, put the Celtics season in perspective: [Read more...]

Red Sox Look To Start Afresh

After nearly a decade of contending, the Red Sox have fallen hard during the last two seasons. Their struggles have been well documented and discussed ad nauseam. This afternoon in Yankee Stadium they begin the 2013 season with low expectations, but moderate hopes. No one quite knows what to expect from this club, other than they will be better than the 69-win team of a season ago. Most predictions have them at or near the bottom of the AL East, but it’s not out of the question that they could reach a win total in the high 80′s.

Red Sox information overload is everywhere – Chad Finn’s media column ran yesterday, and looks at the intense coverage that the Red Sox receive.

Bobby Valentine Trashes Boston Media, Defends Comments On Kevin Youkilis – If you missed it over the weekend, the ex-Boston skipper unloaded on the Red Sox media.

“All the Boston [media] ever wanted to do is prove that they were a tougher media than New York,” Valentine said. “And I don’t paint everyone with the same brush — I think some of those guys are absolutely terrific people. And a good group of ‘em are absolute horses asses who are unprofessional, lazy and should not be in the business up here, in my opinion.

“I had one guy never talk to me the whole year because he said to me he didn’t like the answer I gave him in spring training,” Valentine continued. “He covered my team the whole year! I think the New York media knows more about baseball and is more professional.”

While it is really hard to take anything Bobby V says seriously, what he says here as at least a kernel of truth to it. There IS a competition with the New York media going on, whether those involved want to admit it or not.

Jackie Bradley Jr. causing a stir -Most of the talk around the team this spring has involved the rookie outfielder, who will make his MLB debut this afternoon. Gordon Edes looks at Bradley and how his parents saw this coming. Scott Lauber has Fred Lynn and Nomar Garciaparra offering praise and advice for Bradley.

A new beginning? Red Sox look to move on, build from embarrassment of 2012 – Alex Speier looks at the Sox putting the past behind them while trying to achieve a dramatic reversal in 2013.

Red Sox will be better . . . but by how much? – Sean McAdam looks at what we know about this team, and what we don’t know.

Plenty to like at dawn of new era – John Tomase says that at the very least, you won’t hate this team, and that right there is an improvement.

Best chance for Sox to change perception starts Monday – Tim Britton says that no matter what the Red Sox have said and done off the field, the only way to change things is on the field, starting today.

If Farrell can rebuild rotation, Sox can rebound – Christoper Smith says that it is as simple as “If you can pitch, you have a chance.” He also says we should Enjoy this team for what it is right now.

The future is now – Dave D’Onofrio says that the presence of Bradley on the opening day roster indicates that importance of getting off to a good start this season.

Will Middlebrooks wants to be one of the best – Peter Abraham has the Sox third baseman with high ambitions.

Yankees-Red Sox Rivalry Never Goes Out Of Season – Dom Amore says that no matter where the teams are in the standings, the games are still meaningful. One of the side points for today will be the presence of Kevin Youkilis in the Yankees lineup.

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Bruins escape Buffalo with 2-0 win – Joe Haggerty looks at the Bruins ending March with a win.

Surge in 3rd lifts Bruins to win – Steve Conroy says that is was better late than never for the Bruins.

Check CelticsLinks.com for all the coverage of last night’s Celtics loss to the Knicks in New York.

Felger, Mazz Married In Intimate Ceremony?

In a surprising move, sports media personalities Michael Felger and Tony Massarotti were married on Cape Cod yesterday afternoon. The co-hosts of 98.5 The Sports Hub’s “Felger and Mazz” got hitched at the Holy Redeemer Church in Chatham, Mass. during a clear, mild spring day.

Both grooms wore white tuxedos.

During the vows – which each groom wrote – Felger announced, “Tony, you march to the beat of your own drummer. You strike out on your own. You carve out your own niche and create your own path. You are not a company man.”

To which Mazz responded, “Yeah, Mike. You’re absolutely right,” and started crying.

In what most onlookers described as another surprise, New England Patriots Coach Bill Belichick was invited to the ceremony.

“We never thought he’d be here, frankly,” Felger said afterward. “The invitation we sent to him was clearly a joke. I mean, get a clue, right?”

Belichick made a brief statement after the banquet festivities. “It’s just great to be here, great to be celebrating this moment with the guys. I really don’t have much more to say. I didn’t do much. I didn’t write the vows; I didn’t present the rings; I didn’t pick out the flowers. Beautiful flowers, by the way. But, again, it’s great to be here, to be a part of this event. Nice ceremony, nice music. Loved that cake, too.”

Sal Paolantonio of ESPN asked if Belichick knew what kind of cake it was, who baked it,  and if it had been properly prepared for the wedding.

“I just don’t know anything about that,” Belichick said. “That’s not for me to say. Not my cake. I’m not a baker. I’m sure you’ll get an update around the same time we do.”

Mike Reiss of ESPNBoston.com followed up by asking about some of the better cakes Belichick might remember from past years.

“I’ll tell you, Mike, some great cakes in Cleveland. They know how to bake out there. New York – that New York cheesecake – I mean, that’s not bad. They’re famous for that. But here, in the New England area – Vermont, probably New Hampshire, anywhere with a lot of those dairy farms – some great cakes, too. Can’t discount New England and what they’re able to do with cakes. Put some of that fresh buttercream frosting on there, you’re good to go.”

Belichick continued for five minutes, detailing how the owner of a neighborhood bakery in Annapolis used to add a generous dollop of sour cream to his devil’s food cake batter. “For whatever reason,” he said, “you just don’t see that anymore.”

In some behind-the-scenes action in the press balcony, Christopher Price of WEEI.com said he had planned to write a “Ten Things We Learned Sunday” column about the wedding, but he could only come up with three. “One, the solitude of the Cape feels soothing this time of year,” Price said. “Two, Felger’s got great taste in color palettes. And three, Mazz is a bit of a crier.”

Greg A. Bedard left early because he had another invitation to a bigger, higher-profile wedding.

Tom E. Curran of CSNNE.com said that he believed the wedding was a hoax, a call for attention that shouldn’t be taken seriously. “I tweeted about this three days ago,” he said.

Though Felger wasn’t present for that statement, he seemed to agree.

“We figured there’d be a crowd of media here, because the Boston media is full of sheep. We wanted to make a statement, to get married around April 1st, because if we could accomplish that, we’d show you people where you stand. Like, ‘Hey, geniuses: we put one over on you. It’s all a big April Fool’s Day prank.’”

Felger continued. “This,” he said, holding up his hand to display a 1.5-carat, round brilliant cut diamond ring in tasteful white gold bezel, “is for show. It means nothing. You all got fooled, because you all rushed to make some story out of the only guys who speak truth to power in this town. This marriage is a hoax. Right, Mazz?”

Mazz nodded in agreement and looked down at his matching ring, tears welling up in his eyes.

Heart Surgery Jokes Are Hilarious, Just Ask Mike Felger

In a show much of which was spent lambasting the Bruins and GM Peter Chiarelli for not being able to close a deal, (that’s a whole other topic) Michael Felger decided he needed to poke the Celtics as well, specifically Jeff Green, who hit the game winning shot the night before.

When anyone undergoes heart surgery, it’s a big deal. The issue Jeff Green (and Chris Wilcox) had last year was potentially life threatening, yet they both recovered sufficiently enough to play NBA basketball this season. Green hasn’t been as consistent as some people would like, but since the All Star break he is averaging 16.3 points a game. Anyway, this is the discussion they then had.

Mazz: I mean, they were down 10 with 6 minutes to go. and then they made some shots, Pierce made one in the lane, and then Green obviously made a great drive, got the shot off with a half-second left to win the game. The thing I thought was cool about the game – and they’re going nowhere without Garnett – and I know you’re not particularly fond of Jeff Green’s game, you think he should be better, and in the big picture I’m thinking you’re right about that. But, the guy who performed his heart surgery, the doctor, was there, and so Green makes the shot, showed a lot of emotion after the made the basket, and then, I don’t know, walking off the floor, went over and sort of put his arm around his doctor and said a quick embrace and moved on.

Felger: But you know what he was asking, right?

Mazz: What?

Felger: For the heart back.

Mazz: Oh yeah, that’s what it was. You are such a cynic. You know that?

Felger: I think the guy took it out.

Mazz: It’s amazing though, you think about…

Felger: He SUCKS.

Felger then congratulated himself on a great line.

I’m sure the Felger Fluffers are going to be out in force on this post, but I think this crosses a line. Especially coming from a guy who screams in agony if he runs out of Curel in the studio. He’s going to mock a guy who had extensive open-heart surgery for a life-threatening condition, and is playing high-level NBA basketball a year later?

But he gets the big ratings so apparently I’m the one who is wrong here. Felger can do no wrong. Got it.

Just a couple other items from today:

Jerry Remy fully recovered, not so sure about Red Sox – Bill Doyle talks to the NESN Red Sox analyst, who feels great physically, but understands the low expectations for the team.

Globe needs more balance in assessing athletes’ charity – Red Sox relief pitcher Craig Breslow chastises the Globe for its much-hyped feature on athlete charities and the percentage of profits that go to the causes. In an incredibly impressive letter.

By know you’ve probably heard the news that FOX announced this week that Tim McCarver Steps Down In October following the end of the World Series. Red Sox fans a likely happy over this news.

Buck on McCarver: “I’ve Learned More from Him Than Anybody…Including My Father” – Joe Buck, who has been in the booth with McCarver for 17 years credits McCarver with showing him more of the business than his own dad, the legendary Jack Buck.

SI Baseball Preview: Washington Nationals Will Win 2013 World Series – SI has the Red Sox finishing last in the AL East.

ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Conference Call Transcript – The crew of Dan Shulman, Orel Hershiser and John Kruk also previewed the season this week.

Sports Media Musings: Ramble, Ramble, RAMBLE

I used to hit on a variety of topics, both local and national, in my media columns. These days, because we’ve been hit with a barrage of news and events, my writing in this space has been more focused and in-depth. So, to combat this trend, I decided to clean out my notebook. Also, since I have your attention, I’d like to get a mailbag going next week so drop me a line on Twitter (@Hadfield__) or via email ([email protected]). As always, thanks for reading.

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Let’s play 9 innings with this, shall we?

1. Was this what Spring was like in the late ’80s? Riveting night in Boston sports.

  • I understand The Old Garden was legendary and all that. No arguments here. People romanticize about it and I’m sure the place was a fantastic venue to watch a big game (I was too young to remember). But I do think it’s telling how the Bruins and Celtics both hold two of the biggest home court/ice advantages in their respective leagues.
  • Jarome Iginla was heading to Boston then, overnight, he wasn’t. TSN had it wrong. Since they, evidently, adjudicate on such matters, it will be interesting to hear how Michael Felger and Tony Massarotti will handle the error in reporting today. This, of course, was all in the aftermath of Tuukka Rask letting in a game-tying goal with just under ten seconds left, leading to a Bruins’ overtime loss to Montreal.
  • The Celtics, meanwhile, came out with a dramatic 93-92 victory in Cleveland on the strength of this brilliant up and under scoop layup by Jeff GreenI was busy watching the end of the B’s game, but I hear Gary Tanguay and Brian Scalabrine had an entertaining post-game show. Apparently, Alan Thicke said that Green didn’t really impact the game, to which Scal replied, “HE HIT THE GAME-WINNING SHOT!” If Tanguay stayed his lane as a reliable host, he’d be fine, but Mr. Beaver gets in his own way far too often. Word of advice: stop watching Skip Bayless cuts, Ron Burgundy.

2. Bob Ryan, curmudgeon? Nope. Dude is a purist. Undresses JA Adande here. Excellent take.

  • More important (or comforting) is that, to this day, Ryan still loves sports.
  • Ryan’s appearance on Bill Simmons’ podcast earlier this week is a must-listen. Ryan still throws 97 MPH and his ability to recall minute details about basketball over the course of four decades is remarkable. We always say, “Person X will forget more about __ than we’ll ever know.” I’m not sure if we always mean it. In Ryan’s case, we do.

3. Speaking of the Sports Guy, never got the chance to touch on his Twitter suspension after calling the Skip Bayless-Richard Sherman “First Take” fiasco a lose/lose segment for all parties involved, including ESPN.

  • Simmons was right. But the suspension makes sense, he had to be held in check — can’t be calling out colleagues.  Still, this (strangely) felt like yet another loss for us, the viewers, in ESPN’s curious role as Fast Food Food Journalism Enabler.
  • You know how I just wrote that Simmons needed to be held in check? Puhlleeeasse. A nothing Twitter suspension didn’t stop The Sports Guy from taking a veiled shot at Bayless in his recap of The Walking Dead on Grantland Monday afternoon (Yeah, I watch The Walking Dead. I concede it’s more or less a terrible show. Nonetheless …)

A little bit later, when Merle confidently predicts to his brother that Rick is gonna buckle, he sounds like Skip Bayless talking about LeBron James during the 2011.

4. Matt Doherty calling out CBS Sports coverage of the NCAA Tournament on ESPNU — specifically Charles Barkley, dropping a not so subtle “turrrrribllleee” line — is self-serving and specious. Sure, I don’t think Chaz or Kenny Smith are breaking down tape of Harvard before the tourney, but why do I need “experts” to tell me what’s happening with March Madness? I wrote about the tourney for Metro Boston on Monday. To me, there are no true insights available until the games are actually played. College basketball is sloppy; you never know how each team will handle the others playing style.

5. You want a “Salk and Holley” take, right? All I can say is that it’s an auspicious beginning. It’s not great, it’s not terrible, but you have to assume it’s going to get better; if this is the baseline starting point, then it’s possible for this show to make noise down the line.

  • Too vague, eh? (I feel like I should write like a Canadian when discussing Mike Salk because he really, really loves hockey guys. Like a lot. WEEI wants you to know this.)
  • The “Miked Up” segment should be scrapped. Like today.
  • I don’t want to pass judgement on the show anytime in the near future. That would be disingenuous and short-sighted. Plus, I’ve made that mistake before. Check my archives here: I sound bi-polar while writing about Grantland. I defended it, questioned it, tolerated it, liked it, and now I love it.

6. Amidst all the radio war drama, the “Dennis and Callahan” show has become unlistenable. I tried real hard this morning. Couldn’t get through an hour. Sorry.

  • I’m told the Kirk Minihane seclusion is a very real thing.
  • Since joining “Dennis and Callahan,” Minihane hasn’t been nearly as active writing on WEEI.com. And that sucks. For my money, he’s the best columnist in the city.
  • WEEI obviously wishes it had kept Felger and dumped Glenn Ordway during The Big O’s frisky contract negotiations in the later part of the last decade. Let’s say they fire up Doc Brown’s Delorean to go back in time to the first sign of trouble. My retrospective moves: Dump John Dennis and pair Gerry Callahan with someone who can challenge him; pair Minihane with Lou Merloni in the midday (Kirk would extract actual intel from the ex-jock); move “Dale and Holley” to the afternoon drive slot (Say what you will about Dale Arnold but those guys had great chemistry and were ALWAYS likable. Hmph, “likability.” Something “Felger and Mazz” are currently devoid of.)

7. Tim McCarver announced he is retiring at the conclusion of the upcoming baseball season. I actually didn’t hate him. I’ll let you guys have at it in the comments section with that gem.

8. Soccer will never be a huge sport in this country, but I still love it. The US-Mexico World Cup qualifier Tuesday night was fantastic.

  • Ian Darke puts every-by-play guy in every other sport to shame. Makes everything seem so effortless. Love that guy.
  • On the other hand, former CSNNE personality Taylor Twellman, now a color commentator at the WorldWide Leader, couldn’t keep with pace with Darke’s greatness. The Ken Doll didn’t offer much in the way of any analysis beyond vapid remarks like “The US isn’t holding possession but the reality is that it’s still 0-0.” Glad he’s here.

9. Joon Lee had Steve Buckley on his podcast to discuss his sports journalism career. It’s a good listen. Enjoyed Buck’s candidness about writing, “I hate writing, but love to have written.” I can attest to that. Believe it or not (and I suspect most of you don’t), writing a compelling, honest column is hard.

Extra Innings (Random stuff that may or may not be pertinent):

  • Going on vacation next week. Reading suggestions? Right now, I’m halfway through this year’s Baseball Prospectus. I’m also bringing along the oral history of Saturday Night Live (written by James Andrew Miller, which explains why it came free  along with my copy of “Those Guys Have All the Fun” a few years back).
  • Binge watched Mad Men over the summer to catch up. Excited for the new season. Question: Do I binge watch Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones next? Obviously Breaking Bad has more seasons and is much more of a process, but I’m willing to commit to either.
  • Will Leitch is leaving New York magazine to write full-time over at Sports On Earth. Leitch is severely underrated as a writer.
  • Steven Hyden’s look at the career of The Stokes has me going back through their anthology. Right band, right time (post 9/11), right city (New York City). The piece, as you can tell from my gushing, is awesome. Hyden is great. I want to write like him.

Bird’s Rookie Year — Game 80 vs. the Knicks

Celtics (59-20) vs. New York (37-41)
March 26, 1980
Boston Garden

The Celtics dealt a crushing blow to the playoff hopes of the New York Knicks with a 129-121 victory in Boston.

The loss hurt New York as the Knicks were in the midst of a dog fight with Washington for the final playoff spot in the East (and the right to be the first team eliminated from the post-season), but the victory was also painful for the Celtics.  Dave Cowens and Larry Bird were both injured during the win.  Cowens reinjured his big left toe, while Bird suffered a deep thigh bruise after a collision with New York’s Toby Knight sent him into the basket support.

Tiny Archibald

The Knicks had no answer for an offensive barrage from the Celtics fourth quarter.  After scoring 37 points in the first and 32 in the second, the C’s began the final frame trailing, 95-91, but finished the quarter with 38 points.  With the victory, the Celtics had won 60 games for the first time since 1975 and had completed the biggest turnaround in NBA history, besting the Milwaukee Bucks, who went from 27 wins in 1968-69 to 56 wins the following season.  This season by the Celtics marked the first 30-win turnaround in league history.

“Everything started from the beginning because we were a team that stayed together.  We are a team that really gets along,” Chris Ford told Walter Haynes of the Boston Globe, starting his second game since coming off the injured list last week.

“It’s not just 11 players playing. It’s 12,” he added.  With that comment, it was obvious Ford wanted everyone to know that Don Chaney, who is on the injured list, is still a vital part of the team. And it has been a 12-man feeling all along.

Chaney was placed on the injured list witha pulled groin, which jeopardized his chance to suit up in the playoffs.  Outside of the injuries, the story of the night was the sensational play from Tiny Archibald.

After scoring 10 and dishing out 17 assists in the win over the Bullets, Archibald followed that up with 29 points and 17 assists in 47 minutes against his hometown Knicks.

“You know, Tiny wasn’t feeling well tonight,” Fitch told Haynes.  “And I’ve never had that much success with ballplayers playing when they’re sick.  But I had a hunch.”

Rick Robey gushed over Archibald’s play to Bob Ryan:

“He wants it.  You can see it in his eyes.  He knows the only way for us to win is for him to set us up, and he’s playing his best ball of the season.”

The fourth quarter also included a dual between Pete Maravich and Earl Monroe.  In the words of the Globe’s Haynes, the Pistol “contined to keep his mortgage on the fourth quarter.”  Maravich, who shot 8-10 from the field and scored 12 points in the fourth, found his groove in the final minutes of the game.  Earl “the Pearl” Monroe piled up 14 points (as well as 25 points in just 15 minutes) in the fourth in a classic match of two of the NBA’s legends.

Earl Monroe

“The thing about this team is that it doesn’t rely on any one guy.  We look to everyone to contribute down the stretch,” said Maravich, whose turnaround 19-foot bank shot made it 119-107 with 2:45 remaining and just about sealed things up.

With detail from the Globe’s Bob Ryan, the injury bug continued for the C’s with Cowens as he was forced to sit out the final eight minutes of the game.

Now Cowens was really into it, and on the next two Knick possessions, he demonstrated why Fitch has labeled him “the best defensive center in the league, if you’re going to play a team defense.” Big Red twice switched onto an out-of-control Sly Williams (in the game because NY was in foul trouble) and swallowed him up.  Each bad shot was then turned into a Maravich jumper on the transition.  Suddenly, it was 102-97 and Red Holzman was calling a time out amidst enough noise to disturb a baby shower in Tewksbury.

Only 30 seconds after play resumed, Cowens went limping off the court with a recurrence of his hyperextended left big toe.  On came Robey, and for all intents and purposes, out of the game went Bill Cartwright.  Robey just ate the chubby one’s lunch, pregame and midnight snack down the stretch.

“He was dynamite,’ lauded Fitch.  “He got four key rebounds, and what I really like is that he immediately made sure nobody lost his confidence or dropped his drawers because Dave wasn’t in there.”

As for Bird, Ryan explained that Bird had gone to the locker room to be bandaged after being slammed into the basket support by Toby Knight on a fast break.  He was on the left wing of a 2-on-1 break when he was sent sprawling.  The injury was a deeply bruised thigh, and it necessitated treatment from Dr. Thomas Silva, the team physician.  Cedric Maxwell was also still dealing with the lingering effect of his sprained ankle, so the Celtics were definitely a team in need of a first-round bye in the playoffs.

The Celtics’ brief two-game homestand continued on Friday with another rematch with the Cavs.  With a victory, the Celtics would clinch the Atlantic Divison.

 

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